Growing Up Sara

Holiday Season!

2011-10-03T10:19:00.000-04:00

The End?

2011-09-11T14:04:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure that this is the end of my blog. I didn't really give up on it. I guess it just doesn't fit anymore. More and more I feel that I don't really want to share things that are mine to experience. I just want to hold them close to my heart and those who know me best and who I love the most always have this insight into my world. I do know that I love adoption and adoption advocacy. Only good things have come from sharing my experiences on here. But I can do that on FB (if I decide to stay on there longer). Even now, I can't wait to stop typing this :)

Chase and Joni

2011-08-10T13:11:00.000-04:00

Please take a few minutes to visit our friends' blog. Chase and Joni are amazing people who are hoping to adopt. We have come to know them and truly believe they will be terrific parents. Feel free to share their blog with others or even add their blog button to your blog. I firmly believe in doing all you can to receive blessings and by spreading the word, the right people might come together to make it happen.

AWESOME...

2011-03-25T22:17:00.001-04:00

"SISTER" by DMB - STOP MUSIC BELOW ON PLAYER

2011-01-26T10:38:00.000-05:00

It has been a rough couple weeks here with illness. But getting this song from my brother, well, I'm smiling (and crying....I am pretty tired). I love you! And I love that you think of me. I miss our times together. XOXOXO

Great Analogy from Dear Abby

2010-11-03T09:51:00.000-04:00

In 1995 a woman named Diane Armitage wrote this article directed to childless couples who are considering adoption. She is an adoptive mother of two children. Her mother sent this to Dear Abby. It is one of my favorite analogies about the adoption journey. I hope you enjoy it.

"Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place.You've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.
So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you. You'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait and wait and wait.
Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly thing like "Relax, you'll get a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"
After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."
"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and cost a lot of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful, if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of the wonderful place and finally you decide to travel by boat.
It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three times, marveling about each trip.
Then one glamourous day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who have also traveled by sea rather than air.
People continue to fly to Australia as often as the like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like "Oh be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."
You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself."

IT'S NOVEMBER!!!!

2010-11-01T14:25:00.000-04:00

November is National Adoption Month! I try to post one thing a day about adoption on this blog during November, hoping to spread awareness and educate people that adoption is about love. Below is a handout I picked up at the National FSA Conference. It shares excellent ideas on how to be an adoption advocate no matter how much time you have on your hands. Most people have been touched by adoption in some way. Let's share our knowledge and experiences to dispel myths and to help others by sharing what's true.

(If you click on the handout below, I think it gets bigger.)

Coping with Infertility

2010-10-29T15:46:00.002-04:00

I was asked to speak on coping with infertility at the FSA conference in Kirtland, which is one of the reasons I attended the conference. I am glad that my presentation brought me there and that I had the opportunity to share something so personal with others who are in the process of coping in some way. Like I said in my class, I do not feel qualified to teach others how to cope when I have no counseling background or anything, but I do have my own experiences. This is long, but I share it knowing there are many others who can relate and who might benefit from my experiences. Now that I have prepared it, I might as well share......
I am here because my husband and I have been unable to conceive biological children. We are infertile and whether or not it is at the forefront of our minds, we cope with it every day. As I thought and pondered on what I could share with you about coping I decided that I would NOT stand here and give you strategies because I do not feel qualified to tell you what will allow you to move forward with confidence and peace each day. Our experiences are unique and should be approached in a way that personally meets our needs, desires, lifestyle, goals, and the heartache that only we know. I do not believe there is only one correct way to cope. But I do know how I have coped and I believe that this knowledge could bless someone with comfort, confidence, peace, and strength.

When my husband and I got married the thought of children excited us so we decided to welcome a child if one came, but if it didn’t happen, GREAT because we were poor, busy college students. A year went by and nothing happened, which was good because the first year was a hard adjustment and school was everything. Then another year passed and my husband graduated and got a job. Still no baby. Then I graduated and went to work while Jared continued his education in grad school. It was during that period when I was working and my husband finished his MBA, that feelings of being lost and forgotten crept up on me. We had been married for almost 5 years, had full-time jobs, and everyone around us was busy growing their families. We were the only couple left in both sides of our families without children. In the back of our minds, we knew there was something “wrong”. Until this point, we were occupied with other things that were also very important to us, but it began to seem like our lives had less purpose, that we were just hanging out together, which felt very unfulfilling. For some reason it was a hard thing to take the steps to know what the problem was. The unknown gave us permission to stay where we were. But we didn’t want to stay as we were. And we aren’t meant to stay the way we are. We are supposed to grow, change, and experience…even if those experiences are hard. In June of 2006 I was finishing my last doctor’s appointment where I was told that we were at the end of testing and to call if we decide to move forward with IVF… the only way, our dr. said, we would be able to have children. I will never forget the walk back to my car from his office. That short walk seemed to be a mile long. I couldn’t wait to get there so that I could unleash the storm of pain, sadness, fear, and heartache that crept out of my heart and up my throat when I heard what he said. I didn’t want anyone to see me sobbing in the parking lot. I still remember the tightness in my chest, pure physical, emotional, and spiritual loneliness, and the disbelief as I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that what I had been told all my life, what I had dreamed of, expected, been promised as a girl, teenager, and woman, was just not going to be. The world immediately looked different to me. That night I couldn’t talk about my feelings because there was no way to describe the depth of my sorrow. And I usually have a word for every thought and feeling in my mind – but not then. All I could do was run. I ran and I cried and I ran and I cried.
Something happened to me that very same evening as I returned home. As I thought about who I was and what I was going to do, I was filled with peace. I remembered that I was a daughter of God and that I would not be left to my own devices. I remembered heartache that I experienced before and just like before; Heavenly Father still loved me and still had a plan for me. The scripture “Be still and know that I am God” spoke to my heart and mind. The peace was so strong, so simple, and so quick. It was comfort from my all knowing, loving father. No one else could give me that kind of comfort. No one could understand my hurt, not my mother, my father, husband, or closest friends. The Savior is the only person that knows my heart. Jeffrey R. Holland’s spoke about Christ’s understanding of our loneliness and heartache in a talk he gave last year called None were With Him. “He said, “Because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given…because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ…We will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].” John 14:18 (v.23) No one else could fully empathize but him. This realization became one of the blessings that resulted from the heartache I experienced. A closeness and reliance upon my Savior that has strengthened me in all aspects of my life.
In Proverbs 3:5-6,It reads, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct thy paths.” He is in control. Without prayer we cannot know what the Lord wants us to do and He cannot fully guide, strengthen, and comfort us the way he can. If we trust in him with all our hearts, we will do the things that bring us closer to him. Through my conversations with Heavenly Father, my faith grew and so did my confidence; so much that I was able to turn my focus from biological children to adoption. Adoption is not a cure for infertility, but it is a miracle that brings joy into your life that you thought was not possible. So I am going to talk about how changing my focus from the loss of a dream of biological children to embracing my path as an adoptive mother has helped me to cope.
First I want to talk about the temple. Around the same time my husband and I had learned of the cause of our infertility, Jared was interviewing for a job in Louisville, KY. We went to the temple before his interview thinking that we would receive guidance and blessings regarding his job search. And we were sure it could only help him have success. While I sat in the celestial room praying and pondering, all of my worries about Jared’s job disappeared and my mind was filled with questions about how I was going to have a family. It was there that I received the clearest answer that I have ever received in my life. YOU WILL ADOPT. Any fears or doubts that had occupied my mind, vanished. The Lord would bless me to be a mother and I knew how. He had a plan and even though I didn’t know it at the time, He was already guiding the birth mother who carried my daughter in her belly. On our way home that day, I turned to my husband and I said, “Jared, we are going to adopt a baby.” To which he responded, “We are?” “YES we are!” Receiving answer to prayer concerning something so important to me so needed, so earnestly sought after, has helped me cope. If Heavenly Father knows this is what I need, this is what will make me happy on this Earth, then I am happy to do it. He knows me. I share this experience because we are promised that “As we go to the holy house…we will be able to bear every trial…The temple provides purpose for our lives. It brings peace to our souls-not the peace provided by men but the peace promised by the Son of God when He said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” In the Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple booklet, it says, “When members of the Church are troubled or when crucial decisions weigh heavily upon their minds, it is a common thing for them to go to the temple. It is a good place to take our cares. In the temple we can receive spiritual perspective. There, during the time of the temple service, we are “out of the world. Sometimes our minds are so beset with problems and there are so many things clamoring for attention at once that we just cannot think clearly and see clearly. At the temple the dust of distraction seems to settle out, the fog and the haze seem to lift, and we can “see” things that we were not able to see before and find a way through our troubles that we had not previously known.” This is true! Visit the temple as often as you can and the guidance and peace you seek is promised to you.
I am not here to tell you that because I adopted, my heartache has disappeared…..In fact, as I prepared for this class and revisited the moments I have shared, I cried as though those feelings were brand new. Infertility is a condition that doesn’t go away...for many of us. What I am saying is - rely on Heavenly Father and the Savior. Do the things that will keep you connected to their guidance and go where you can clearly see the eternal perspective as much as you can. You will know for yourself what it is you should be doing to find happiness and joy despite your infertility and because of it. Naturally and rightfully so, you will hurt at times and that is okay. I love this quote about infertility by Barbara Eck Manning: “My infertility resides in my heart as an old friend. I do not hear from it for weeks at a time, and then, a moment, a thought, a baby announcement or some such thing, and I will feel the tug – maybe even be sad or shed a few tears. And I think ‘There’s my old friend.’ It will always be a part of me.”
When the lost dream of pregnancy comes to mind, the ache is dulled because of the blessings I have received from this trial. They are so numerous and they are a testament to me that I am who I’m supposed to be. I am doing what the Lord wants me to do and he will always answer my prayers, support me, and guide me so that I can be happy with what I am given. I wouldn’t be the person I am without infertility and right now I feel like I am doing what I was always meant to do and I am who I was always meant to be. Nothing feels better than that. Focus on your blessings now and embrace the now.
When I look at my children I remember that they are miracles walking around, direct answers to prayer right in front of me every day. I feel that I appreciate the moments I spend with them more than I might have if I did not need to pray earnestly for them. The fact that they don’t look like me reminds me of Heavenly Father's love for me because he remembered me. So I absolutely love the way they look and I wouldn’t change a thing about them. This is what helps me to cope with the moments I feel like I’ve missed out on something when I see a pregnant woman with that adorable belly. It doesn’t seem like such a big thing to miss when I reflect on my blessings.

HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION (verse 3)

Fear not I am with thee; Oh be not dismayed.

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand.

Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

Kirtland

2010-10-29T15:11:00.000-04:00

Last month I took a trip to Kirtland, Ohio to attend the northeast regional Families Supporting Adoption conference. I have a lot to share about things I learned there, but I will share those later. I have heard many people say (and I have said it in the past) that the spirit isn't present in that temple, but it can be, and it was. The Kirtland temple is dedicated temple. One of the speakers reminded us that there is no such thing as "un-dedicating" a temple. It was a beautiful place to ponder the many blessings that have been mine because of the saints' faith there in Kirtland. Sitting in the temple and realizing that the power to seal families together for eternity was given in that very same place, gave me an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and perspective. I am grateful that I can attain the blessings that the early saints worked so diligently to receive. Here are a few pictures of the beautiful Kirtland temple and the surrounding gardens.

My dear friend Cindy and me.

Salt Lake City

2010-09-10T14:52:00.000-04:00

At the end of July I spent a weekend in SLC with my sister and attended a terrific adoption conference. Since then, it seems we have been more busy than usual. This is how the weekend went.....delays, cancellations, one whole night missed of sister time, sis-in-law to visit and not enough time, conference during the days, two short nights of visiting, flight home. It went REALLY fast. I could have used 2-3 more days to do things with my sister, spend time with my sister-in-law's family, see the sights, and go to the SLC temple. Although I was bummed that the weekend was cut short, I am very thankful I didn't have to board a plane that had no brakes and whose tires blew out the day before. I told Jared that Heavenly Father didn't want me to enjoy time away from my family TOO much. I was really glad to come home and be where I'm meant to be. About a month late, here are the pictures I took while there....

Our awesome hotel room and a self-portrait.

The conference center - amazing!

A small view of the inside of the conference center.

The Salt Lake Temple....stunning.

I had to get a picture of the flag waving in front of the temple. That means a lot.

My sis and I with fresh faces.....oh how I love her!

Jared's Birthday

2010-08-27T15:43:00.000-04:00

I have really neglected this blog........which is no surprise.....I hardly fit in time for a shower every day (yeah, I know).
I don't want to forget Jared's birthday that we celebrated Aug. 15. He is 33 years old now and better than he's ever been. Outstanding father, loving husband, and the best friend I've got.

33 Things.....

1.When we were dating, my grandmother lived with us and she kept calling Jared "Gerard". It stuck and even evolved into other names, but that is my favorite. Another name I call him is "GourHayman". This comes from the fact that when Jared decides to cook something or if I do, he often finds a way to make it "gourmet" by adding something to it.
2. One of my first encounters with Jared was at a Halloween party where he came dressed as a professional WWE wrestler wearing TIGHTS. His friend took a picture of Jared that night and I happen to be staring at him in the picture looking confused.
3. Jared's passion is fishing. He makes lures seem like diamonds.
4. I am positive that since we have been married, Jared hasn't missed one day of scripture study. He often reads during his breakfast.
5. Jared is patriotic. He takes political issues seriously and is concerned about how the government affects our lives.
6. Jared is never to work on time. He is always at least 15 minutes early.
7. Jared irons his church and work clothes while he watches fishing shows.
8. When we were newlyweds, Jared was in school full-time and worked three different jobs throughout the week and he still made good grades.
9. I have only seen Jared cry two times in all 10 years I have known him. Once was joyful and the other was joy and empathy. He is tough, but he also has a tender heart.
10. Most people think I am overprotective of the children....they should hear the conversations we have had about safety..........Jared tops me.
11. Jared is a living miracle. I believe he strives to be righteous and good because he realizes this.
12. In case you didn't know, Jared really likes WWE wrestling. I have always found this to be very odd.
13. I find it endearing when Jared gets out his fishing gear and organizes it, looks at it, and surveys what he has. It is like a child emptying his toy box just to admire his toys.
14. Jared spent two years of his life dedicated to teaching other people what he knows to be true. He was not paid to do this. In fact, he saved his own money to be able to spend that time as a missionary. I am so proud of him....especially when I think about what most guys that age are doing.
15. Jared's eyes are startling...beautiful.
16. If you haven't heard Jared laugh, you're missing out on a good time.
17. When Jared was little his neighbors called him "Huckleberry Hayman". I think the rubber boots, speedos, and fishing pole he wore around had something to do with that.
18. Jared discourages negativity and gossip. He hates it.
19. Honesty is one of Jared's greatest qualities.
20. I usually have to tell Emmie and Jared to be reverent at church. He loves to draw and play too.
21. Jared served as a nursery teacher with the 18 month old children and he was really good at it! I loved hearing him talk about nursery on the way home from church.
22. Jared is debilitated by messy surroundings.
23. Jared listens to talk radio in the car....really LOUD.
24. Nebraska, Colts, and Purdue football.....Jared loves.
25. At the top of Jareds list of things to buy is a bass boat, and something to pull it with.
26. As a husband, Jared is extremely supportive and encouraging in all of my endeavors. He wants me to succeed.
27. Jared was the vice president and president of the MBA Association at ISU. He is a great leader!
28. I am pretty patient, but Jared can be even more patient.....sometimes to a fault.
29. Sometimes after the children are in bed and it is getting dark out, and I realize Jared has been gone, I look out the back window and see him in the distance fishing in the pond out back. I love watching him.
30. Jared really can't stand soda. He drinks water all the time....such a good boy.
31. Jared suffered through a Dave Matthews Band concert for me because I love DMB. But the part of that night I remember most is when it started to rain really hard so Jared grabbed my hand and we ran all the way back to the car. He didn't let go of me.
32. Jared loves to substitute the word "Poop" for other words in Emmie's stories. I always know when this is going on because I hear both of them rolling on the floor laughing.
33. Jared's favorite color is green. Emmie never lets me forget :)

Here are the pictures of the cake Emmie helped me make for Jared's birthday..............

The red thing in the water is a swedish fish. We had a lot of cake!

Families Supporting ADOPTION

2010-08-10T21:42:00.000-04:00

I attended the National Families Supporting Adoption Conference a couple weekends ago. It was terrific! I am so thankful to be part of an organization that exists for the sole purpose of love and families. The most amazing part was sitting amongst 150 birth mothers. I am in awe of all birth mothers. They are so dear to my heart and incredible. I have a renewed desire to share what I know about adoption with the world. So I will ask you.........WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ADOPTION? Do you support it? Why? Why not?

Sharing what I know about adoption has blessed my life in so many ways. Could it bless your life to?

Birthday Lunch

2010-08-05T16:06:00.000-04:00

Last Tuesday my mother-in-law, Shirley, brought the children and me to lunch for my birthday. I may have brought my camera with me, but if I did, I forgot to take pictures! I just wanted to say "Thank you" to Grandma Shirley for that....it was a fun time. I appreciate you.

We are pretty fortunate to have the families that we do. Each day I realize more and more just how blessed we are. Between my family and Jared's family, the support and love that enveloped us during both adoptions was incredible. From taking weeks off work to help with kids, making freezer meals, donating sky miles (lots), volunteering sleepless nights with Jonathan, trips to the airport, earnest prayers and fasting on our behalf, sent boxes of goodies and baby stuff, and on and on and on. We love you all.

Just US Two

2010-05-30T20:08:00.001-04:00

We had a whole day to ourselves yesterday. It feels strange to be without the kids, but Jared and I have a lot of fun when we revert back to "dating" Jared and Sara. We rarely take pictures of ourselves...too busy gushing over the children. We made a (small) effort to capture parts of our day, but this is all we got.

After a delicious lunch out we headed to the movies. Jared insisted on Letters To Juliet haha(he may or may not dispute this), so that is what we saw. I don't know what was more fun, the movie or making smart comments during the previews.

I took this picture when we thought we would be the only people in the theater...but we weren't.

This kind of thing happens when we are together,waiting, with a camera.

After the movie we got ice cream, went shopping, and decided to head home because we couldn't figure out one more thing to do in the unbearable heat. It was great! Thank you Dad and Toni!!!

Comfort Food

2010-05-30T18:39:00.000-04:00

This made everyone better after last weekend...food...we love you!

Those 4 Days

2010-05-29T07:11:00.000-04:00

Last Friday Jared came home from work with the worst ear infection. He was so ill up until the following Tuesday. I don't know why I was so surprised by this, but those four days of him laying in bed sleeping were some of the loneliest. I never realized how much he makes me feel needed, loved, normal, and sane. I know what it is like to be so sick that thinking is excrutiating so I kept the door shut and the kids away from him the whole time. It was hard to do that solo from morning until night, but it seemed harder to not have his presence. Emmie was starting to get a little nervous about it. We all need him.

Poor Jared....he is better now. Trials stink, but they make you strong, aware of your ability, and help you to appreciate even more, what you have.

Single parents - WOW!

US

2010-05-26T10:33:00.000-04:00

One Week From Today...

2010-05-25T18:58:00.000-04:00

Jared and I will be celebrating 8 years of marriage and 9 1/2 years of memories.

Music is such an important part of life in our home...so I've added some love music to the blog.
I'll be thinking of that beautiful sunny day in Palmyra...and how much better life has been ever since, especially now.
I hope you enjoy this sappy, lovey dovey music too!

Dad and Jonathan

2010-05-21T15:09:00.000-04:00

Jonathan really dislikes laying down anymore. He prefers to sit up and look around at everything. He and Jared like to chill together.

I have to smile when I think about

2010-05-21T14:25:00.000-04:00

Jared being the "boy" who picks flowers from his mother's garden to give to his girl. I love this about him.

I am still looking at these flowers after a week. They are bright and smell delightful.

Baby Cow

2010-05-12T12:43:00.003-04:00

When we built our home in 2008 a calf was born on the farm that borders our back yard. Emmie has watched it grow as she grows. Now we have a new calf to watch. We love the fact that when we came home with Jonathan, we discovered a new baby cow.

A Picture Story for Jonathan

2010-05-07T15:03:00.003-04:00

TURN ON YOUR VOLUME TO HEAR THE MUSIC

We made a photo story for Emerson when we brought her home. This one is for Jonathan.

Jonathan's Adoption Story Part 2

2010-04-19T15:36:00.001-04:00

On January 19 our profile was activated. We were excited! We sent our friends and family the news and posted our profile to our blogs. The step to put ourselves out there motivated us to do more to receive this blessing. Then we went back to waiting and not expecting anything. On Jan. 26 (one week later), I checked our e-mail before shutting down the computer for the night, and expecting nothing as usual, there was an e-mail sent through Parent Profiles. My heart fluttered. Then I calmly said, “Jared, we have been contacted.” He said, “What do you mean?” “A birth mother contacted us on Parent Profiles.” I carried the laptop to the bedroom and we sat on the bed reading the e-mail over and over. Michelle, our son’s birth mother, took a gigantic leap of faith when she wrote that sweet e-mail. We could hardly believe the e-mail was real and that we had actually received it. We lived for Michelle’s e-mails after that. I spent hours writing back and forth to her for weeks. In no time at all we fell in love with Michelle. I don’t think there was one thing we didn’t share in our e-mails to one another. We kept saying that we felt like we had known each other forever. There are so many things we have in common.

On February 10 we flew to Colorado to meet Michelle, Brandon (Jonathan’s birth father), and their family. Were we nervous! Emmie came with us because we knew we wouldn’t be able to bring her when the baby came and we wanted her to know where we would be going, where Jonathan came from, and who his birth family is. They wanted to meet Emmie too. She was the reason Michelle contacted us. Michelle recounts the moment she “knew” to be when she saw a picture of Emmie and Jared sitting in the doorway on Halloween holding a tiny pumpkin. She said that Emmie was a female version of Alex, her son. They looked identical. It was important to Michelle for Jonathan to have a sibling that was a lot like him. When she saw that picture of them, she said her heart almost stopped. She ran down the stairs with her pregnant belly and dragged her family over to the computer to see. I bet that will make Emmie feel pretty special someday.
Our visit was amazing! We felt like part of Michelle’s family. They welcomed us with hugs and tears and made us feel special. We didn’t feel deserving of it. And despite Emmie’s every effort to sabotage us (of course we are kidding), they LOVED her and us. Actually, Emmie was pretty great. She survived a long flight with no sleep, jet lag, and a drastic change in schedule. On top of it, she rose above the stress and confusion surrounding such a big event in our lives. I know she could feel what we felt. You should have seen her at their house! She threw herself on the floor and everything. But it turns out that Emmie was all part of the plan because when we disciplined her with some boundaries and natural consequences, Michelle thought well of it.
During the next four and a half weeks we organized our home, prepared Jonathan’s bedroom, and tried to continue on with our normal routines while waiting. We flew back to Colorado for Jonathan’s birth without Emerson (One of the hardest things we’ve ever done) on Monday the 15th. Not only were we excited to meet our little boy, but we were eager to see Michelle and Brandon again. When we heard from them we felt close to the baby and just felt happy in general.
Michelle was induced on Tuesday, the next day. Jared and I were present for the delivery, which was more than we could have asked for. Jonathan was born at 12:15 p.m. He weighed 6lbs. 12 oz. and was 19 inches long. And most importantly, he was healthy. Jonathan was handed to me first just as Emerson was when she was born. As I sit here and think about that, I am so grateful to my children’s sweet birth mothers for being so generous to me. They didn’t have to, but they thought of our needs and desires despite the anguish they were experiencing. How can I not love them?
The two days we spent in the hospital with Michelle were some of the most spiritual times. One would assume that waiting for placement would be more stressful and scary than anything. Our experience was very much the opposite. Michelle’s grandparents and great-grandmother came to meet us. They wore smiles the whole time. They hugged us and treated us like we were important to them. They were happy. We are so grateful that we got to know each other. We are glad that we were able to share who we are with them. Some day we will tell Jonathan about the love that surrounded him when he was born. I think he will love that. I stayed in Michelle’s room at the hospital and took care of Jonathan all night. Michelle and I stayed up until 2 am talking about life, what led us to that point, and what we hoped for the future. I rocked Jonathan as Michelle shared her dreams with me. I sat there thanking the Lord in my mind for that moment where two mothers who loved the same child were loving each other and exchanging admiration and gratitude for the other. There aren’t many times in my life that I will be able to feel as much gratitude for another human being as I did (and do) at that time.

The next day Jonathan’s birth father Brandon came and spent time holding him and marveling at his beautiful boy. Jared and I watched Michelle and Brandon hold him, whispering tenderly and sharing moments with each other that words fail to describe. I will say that I observed a proud mother and father with heart ache, longing, hope, peace, and love of the purest kind in their expressions.
We visited with Michelle and her family before we came home. Michelle thanked me for “sharing” Jonathan with her in the hospital and giving her that time with him. Yes – she actually thanked us. What had we done? Very little. She said she could see us holding back and could sense how hard it was for us to pass him around. Whatever insecurity we experienced passing Jonathan around to her loving family was a small thing to experience knowing the heartache that awaited them. We wouldn’t have changed a thing. They blessed our lives beyond our capacity. It brought us joy to see them hold him and know that was the way it was supposed to be. The spirit was there – no other feeling was present.
We flew home with Jonathan the following Wednesday evening and reunited with Emmie on Thursday morning. It felt so good to bring him home to meet his sister who had been waiting for his arrival for weeks and weeks. Now we are adjusting to two children’s schedules and lack of sleep… but when I get up in the middle of the night and look at Jonathan’s face and then walk into Emmie’s room to check on her, nothing seems that hard.
Neither one of us know why our children come to us through adoption. We love to think of many different things all the time like maybe I would have died in child birth; maybe if our children inherited our genes they wouldn’t have been able to fill the measure of their creations because of something that would have held them back; maybe adoption was the way we are better able to understand the Lord’s plan, love, and mercy in our lives than we would have been able to otherwise; maybe we were meant to experience love, gratitude, and sacrifice through adoption so that we would be able to approach each day of our lives with happier hearts eager to be the best we can to be worthy of the blessings we have received; maybe the Lord knew that we would love these children more than anything; and maybe none of these things. Adoption is a blessing. It is beautiful. No matter what, we wouldn’t change a thing. We have experienced miracles and remember them daily when we look at our children. The joy, growth, faith, understanding, love, friendships, and gratitude we have gained have more worth to us than anything else there is to be had. I thank Heavenly Father for knowing us so well and remembering us and our deepest desires. He answers prayers and is eager to guide us to those things that bring us joy.

We love you Brandon, Michelle, Cindy, Steve, and all of your families. Thank you for your love.

Jonathan's Adoption Story Part 1

2010-04-16T16:38:00.002-04:00

There is a lot to write so I am diving this story into parts. Sorry for the length! Here is part 1:

Our family was approved and hoping to adopt last July of 2009. Like most families at that early stage in the adoption process, we had low expectations. We were thrilled at the prospect of adopting our second baby, but we realized that the wait could be a few years. So we hardly thought about it, which was easy because we hadn’t felt a void. Emerson had been our world and fills our lives with so much joy that we really had no reason to feel sad or anxious. When I say we hadn’t felt a void, I mean that for us, adopting Emmie was the greatest blessing we had ever received and we felt grateful to have her. To ask the Lord to grant us another miracle seemed like a long shot. But it would have been extremely sad for us to not experience all of those things that make life so rich again and again.

We had waited six months with no contacts when January 2010 came. Dave, our adoption counselor, wanted to have a phone conference to discuss what else we could do to increase our chances of being contacted by birth parents. That 6 month meeting is a standard procedure. To be honest, Jared and I had the attitude of “If you want us to talk to you on the phone so you can check us off for the 6 month meeting, that’s fine.” But as the meeting date approached, I began to wonder what we were going to do and ponder what I really wanted. We knew what Dave was going to tell us – to get on Parent Profiles. Parent Profiles may be the largest database of adoptive couples on the web. If it isn’t the largest, it is probably the most advertised and visited adoptive couple website, which increases your chances of being contacted by a birth parent. Parent Profiles also happens to be the website that our daughter’s birth parents found us on. We were aware of the benefits of being on there. However, Jared and I agreed that we would wait a certain amount of time before we put our profile on there because it can be expensive and we hadn’t felt the urgency that we had felt leading up to Emmie’s adoption. Those of you who are unfamiliar with our daughter’s adoption story, her birth parents contacted us just a few weeks after we were activated on Parent Profiles. Emmie came to us quickly, which we were sure could only happen once in a lifetime.

The phone conference with Dave was quickly approaching on Friday the 8th. We still weren’t sure what we were going to tell Dave about how we felt or what we planned to do. And I’ll tell you why; we didn’t feel much. We really felt far from any inspiration or direction relating to this adoption. Where were the promptings we had received with Emmie? Was this really what we were supposed to be doing? This phone conference was really causing me to question things. And then I got an important phone call on Tuesday the 5th. It was Sharon, my neighbor who had moved almost a year ago and whom I hadn’t spoken to since. How odd! Sharon has two daughters that she and her husband adopted. She called to ask me what to expect with LDS Family Services’ new adoption process because it had changed since she had adopted her youngest daughter. What could have been a brief conversation with Sharon turned into a much needed discussion of where I was emotionally and what I really wanted. I told Sharon about the upcoming meeting and explained our feelings of indifference. I also told her my heart and how I knew I wanted more children and that I wanted to adopt again. As I was saying these things to her, hearing myself confirm what I felt in my heart, I realized that that phone call was not meant to help her, it was meant for me. I hung up with tears rolling down my cheeks and thanking Sharon for her inspired phone call to me. I knew it was inspired because of the timing, the fact that it was completely out of the blue, and mostly because I felt it deep in my mind and heart. What I knew all along was clear and many powerful things that I had forgotten were brought to my remembrance. I remembered the whisperings of the spirit telling me that if it is the Lord’s will, he will provide a way; encouragement I received when we were getting ready to start the process again. I remembered the pattern of emotions we experienced during the first adoption, I realized that in an effort to avoid emotions tied to adoption, we had not been praying as earnestly as we had leading up to Emmie’s adoption. PRAYER is more essential than anything else regarding adoption. How could I have forgotten this? I knew that the Lord would direct us and prompt us if we were prayerful and earnest in seeking his help. He was before and He would be again. It became clear to me that I was meant to forget these simple but powerful truths because to remember them would lead me to my family. My mom can attest to the affect that phone call had on me. That night I called her from my car on the way home from mutual and told her all of these things. I said, “This is the beginning. I can feel it.”
Friday came and we had our phone conference. As expected, our adoption counselor suggested we get on Parent Profiles. We told him that we would probably do that and would let him know when. We explained that we had not felt the urgency to do it yet, but would talk about it. The next day I attended a young women’s stake leadership training at church. After the meeting I chatted with Sister Monn who works at the LDS Family Services office and my friend Sheri who was also in the process of her second adoption. Sheri was telling us about the contacts she had on Parent Profiles and Sister Monn turned to me and said, “Why aren’t you on Parent Profiles?!! Don’t you know how many placements have been made recently through that website?” I told her what we had told Dave, “We probably will soon.” The next day was Sunday. I was walking down the hall and was stopped by Bro. Tree who for the past few weeks had been asking me if I had any news for him. He asked me for the news. I told him I had none but that we were thinking of getting on Parent Profiles. He turned to me, looked me right in the eyes, and said, “What are you waiting for?” In my mind I thought, “I don’t know!” But I did know. I was waiting for guidance. After Sharon’s phone call and three consecutive days of being asked the same thing over and over, I had received it. As we drove home from church I thought about what Brother Tree, Sis. Monn, Dave, and Sharon had said to me. It all felt very calculated. I turned to Jared and said, “We need to get on Parent Profiles. The Lord has been trying to tell us this and if we don’t, we may miss our opportunity.” Jared felt this too. We didn’t waste any time. That night we worked on our profile...

(I will continue this soon. It takes a while to adequately convey the feelings we have experienced during this journey not to mention just having time to write it. I'll try my best.)

Fear Not

2010-03-14T23:17:00.000-04:00

Knowing exactly what I love and being the incredible husband that he is, Jared got me this necklace for Christmas last year.

It is from an Etsy shop called the r house couture that creates hand made jewelry to fund their adoption expenses. I LOVE IT!There are many scriptures that tell us to fear not because the Lord is with us. This "Fear Not" is from the hymn How Firm a Foundation. Third verse sings:

Fear not, I am with thee

Oh be not dismayed.

For I am thy God

and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee,

help thee,

and cause thee to stand.

Upheld by my righteous

omnipotent hand

Since I've had this, I have thought to wear it almost every day. Every time I hear the amazonite and jade clink together I remember that I have strength beyond my own, always. I am so grateful for this.

Stole this from The R House

2010-03-13T13:11:00.001-05:00

I am going to hang this on the fridge.

A Quote I love

2010-03-10T07:39:00.000-05:00

This Quote from Elder Packer (An authority and leader in our church) is one that I heard in church a few weeks ago. No matter what situation in life a person is facing, it brings great strength, comfort, and perspective. I hope it stays with you.

“If you are helpless, He is not. If you are lost, He is not. If you don’t know what to do next, He knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not.”

A Couple Days in CO

2010-02-13T16:48:00.000-05:00

My family and I flew to CO on Wed. night for a couple days. It was pretty special. Before we left we took Emerson out and took a closer look at the landscape. It was gorgeous! If we had more time, we would have spent hours exploring. I also got to play around with my camera, which I haven't done for a long time. Taking pictures is so much fun when you are in such a cool place!

I love the contrast of the blue sky against the red rock.

My girl.

These white rocks stood oppsite the red rocks on the other side of the path. Do you see the names carved into the stone?

We could see these rock formations from miles away. You can't tell from this picture, but when we looked to the west, the red color of the rocks and their jagged edges make them visible and bright against the blue backdrop of rocky mountains.

Look at the sky!

I took this from the car so there is a glare, but I had to get a picture of this landscape. We were really astounded by the grassy plains to the east and how they suddenly turn into giant mountains. At the garden, we saw a lot of grassy plains and fields with huge red and white rocks randomly sitting there.

This is the view to the east.

I just really like the sun and the bubbles of clouds in this picture.

I hope you appreciate this picture as much as I do! As we were leaving the garden to head back to Denver, I kept looking back at the amazing sight of mountains and rocks because the landscape we were driving toward was such a contrast. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the beautiful sky and this. So I thought, well, I will just take a picture of it from the mirror. This turned out pretty cool.

These next two pictures are more beautiful than anything...

I jumped out of the car to take a picture and as I walked back to the car I looked at Jared and Emerson and was overcome with complete love, joy, and appreciation. They are everything. They are my life, my purpose, and my favorite source of happiness. All I thought was I AM THE LUCKIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD. I have it all. I could want for nothing...literally. I definitely had a "moment" of clarity.

My SWEET husband.

My DARLING girl.

And now, rest...........................................................................................................................

HOPING TO ADOPT!

2010-01-20T14:15:00.002-05:00

If you've come across my blog for the first time and/or didn't already know, WE'RE HOPING TO ADOPT. Whether you know us or not, we invite you to look at our adoption profile. You may know someone who is considering placing their child for adoption. Feel free to share it with them or to direct them to view other adoptive couples on Parent Profiles and LDS Family Services.

We believe that by sharing our desire to grow our family with others, we are doing a little more than sitting and waiting. We want to do all we can to receive this blessing. We gladly welcome you to add our profile to your blog. We just don't know how the Lord will bring us together.

Thank you for taking a moment to getting to know us!
(Out to lunch with my friend today and she wanted to add our adoption profile to her blog, but wasn't exactly sure how to do that. I should have explained! So here is what you do: Copy the code underneath our adoption profile button. Then go to your layout page and click "add a gadget". select the "HTML" gadget. Once that opens, Paste the code in that window and save it. That's all!)

A Night Out

2009-12-23T07:48:00.000-05:00

Between the cold weather and Christmas anticipation, we couldn't stand to be pent up in the house anymore. So we jumped in the car and headed out for dinner. We still love to take Emmie with us. She really enjoys it and we love to be with her. We just happened to have the camera in my coat pocket, so we clicked away. MERRY CHRISTMAS from these 3 sillies!

November - check, On to December!

2009-12-17T08:54:00.002-05:00

I felt bad that I didn't really wrap up my month of November efforts with an official "Thank you" to all of the friends, family, and people who really made an effort to advocate and support adoption in some way. This is something very close to my heart and any response, comment, help, participaton, or action of any kind that happened on your part makes my giddy. Just ask my husband! I cried real emotional happy tears of gratitude when Lindsay and Patrick blogged about adoption. I think I may have been the one that benefitted from sharing the most, but I really hope not. I hope that someone else does...a child, a birth parent, a relative, anyone.

The first of December brought more excitement for Emerson and me. We packed two bags, one backpack, and lugged a carseat through the airport and flew to NH to see most of my siblings (Jon, Jen, and Maggie - we missed you!) and my mom's side of the family. Oh it was great! Emmie is such an awesome traveler. In fact, it would be boring without her. She makes everything more exciting. Don't get me wrong, it isn't perfect traveling. I mean, who really wants to carry a 35 lb carseat through the airport? But totally worth it. We feel very fortunate to see family as much as we have since Em was born. THANK YOU family!

In an effort to not be long-winded, we had a extremely relaxing, sweet, and fun-filled time while we visited. We visited with Meme (she spoiled us :)), shopped, ate out, ate very well in, celebrated cousin Will's 7th birthday with a big party, played with 6 of Emerson's 9 cousins on my side, visited with my cousin Angela, Uncle Kevin, and Aunt Joann, saw our first breath-taking snowfall of the year (I am kicking myself for not taking pictures of how beautiful the snow was), listened to music and enjoyed watching the children dance and sing, went to the Montshire Museum of Science, went crazy at a Technica sale (shopped some more), and mostly...and best of all, we just were together by the warm fire in my sister's beautiful home full of people we love and who took such good care of us. Seriously, I usually am ready for home in 4-5 days but those 8 days could have gone longer. I missed Jared, but it was so nice to just be with everyone. If Jon and Jared had been there it would have been just about perfect. He had to have knee replacement surgery! Poor guy. Still, long winded I guess. Oh well, here are some pictures:

Me and Kris (my sis)

Ryan and Will

Andrew and his boys Noah and Henry.

Emmie and Henry ("Henny" is what we call him). Soooo sweet.

Noah and Adam are pretty good buds. Wish this turned out better.

My sister-in-law Sandra "Dr. Dufour". Such a cute picture of you Sandra!

Kris with sleepy Henry on her lap.

Ryan, Ben, and Eric....I better have some pics of Eric's face somewhere!

Sophie!

These next pictures I will call children at play because we couldn't get all 7 of them sitting together at this time in the evening after pizza, cake, ice cream, and excitement:

Playdough!

Juice box sippin' monkeys.

These pictures are incomplete!!!! I don't have enough of them - especially of just us adults and mom and Meme! But the truth is who really wants to take pictures when you want to be in on all the fun? You're missing out on the experience if your trying to caputre it with the camera. Oh I miss you guys! Thanks for loving us and thanks for the extra luggage full wonderful things you sent with us!

Angela's Story

2009-11-29T20:38:00.002-05:00

Angela is my cousin. I am so proud of her! Here is a shortened version of her story:

Adoption is something that is very near and dear to my heart. I am an adoptee and have gone through the rough process of finding my biological family. I grew up knowing that I was adopted and it was never a big deal with any of my family members. My parents are amazing and helped me through the very long, very tough journey of finding my biological family.

They were very understanding of my curiousity about my biological family and never once felt slighted by the fact that I needed to find out all the information I could. Once I got the itch and was of legal age, it was a matter of weeks until I met my biological mother, Elaine.

Finding my biological father was a much tougher road since he did not know I was his child and I was in contact with his mother who wished to tell him herself. Before that could happen he passed away in a house fire with his wife and two sons. A few months later, a DNA test confirmed that he was my biological father. His mother, Marcia and I had had a rough relationship but we put our differences and history aside and forged ahead with a very good relationship.

She has since passed away due to complications from a moter scooter accident. It was a year this July, and a very trying time. I am still in contact with Marcia's mother.. my great grandmother.

On a brighter note, Elaine and I are in touch every day. I have a half sister who just turned 14 and a half brother who will be 17 shortly. We also talk everyday and hang out on a regular basis. They have become part of my family and my parents thank Elaine on a regular basis for placing me for adoption.

Angela and her mother and father, Joann and Kevin.

I have a very special relationship with the family that raised me and is mine, and also with my biological family. While it was very rough finding out all the details of my biological family and the few regrets I do have about not contacting my biological father myself, they are all washed away by the love I have from both of my families.

Angela and her birth mother and siblings.

I am truly blessed and loved and most definitely would not have my life any other way!

We love you Angela! Thanks for sharing your story. It is even more touching hearing you tell it in person, but you have shown us that adoption is about LOVE on every side.

Angela with Emmie last fall.

"...My Cup Runneth Over"

2009-11-25T13:57:00.001-05:00

It is my turn. I have been waiting all month to write my own thoughts during this wonderful Adoption Month. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I have an abundance of gratitude for the many blessings I have received in my life. I will try my best to write my soul.
I start by acknowledging my Heavenly Father. He lives. He is my maker, my father, and my friend. He loves me more than I deserve and more than I comprehend. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to this earth so that I would know who to follow, who to emulate. He sent Him here so that He would know exactly what it feels like to be human and to be tried, challenged, and hurt. He sent Him here to save me from being miserable because I am imperfect. He sent Him here to take all of my burdens, mistakes, pain, and hurt from me. What amazes me is that Heavenly Father did not tell Christ to come, He volunteered. I cannot doubt that He loves me. I have been tried, hurt, deeply saddened, and have made loads of mistakes. I know what it is to feel bitterly alone, to feel worthless, and to feel that I don't deserve forgiveness.  At times, I relished in these awful feelings and sometimes I prayed. I cannot say that I am not loved. When I turn to the Savior for help, I have always been at peace, strengthened, comforted, guided, and felt the purest love that no person can offer. I am getting better and faster at recognizing this need in my life and frankly, I cannot live without it. His guidance is ever present even when I know I haven't made the best choices - He still loves me.
My understanding of His love for me was brought to a heightened level over 3 years ago when I came to a point in my life where I really had no idea what the Lord wanted for me. It was a scary feeling. And of course, heartbreaking...I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. He knew this; He was aware of my heartache and desires. I have never felt as much strength, comfort, guidance, and confidence in my life as I did during the months that Jared and I sought answers, moved forward with adoption, and then adopted our daughter Emerson. The Lord, in his great love and wisdom, knew these two weak humans needed that support and strength to do something that would take a lot of faith and hope. He knew Emerson was coming to us and He prepared us and whispered sweet encouragement in our hopeful ears. I have no doubt nor will I ever deny that the Lord blessed us with our daughter. It was no coincidence. It was direct answer to prayer: Our prayers to Him asking for a child that was meant to be ours and the prayers offered up by Emerson's birth parents seeking the best life for their baby. The Lord cares. He is not indifferent to us even though, at times, He seems obscure and far away. Through this precious experience I also gained a strong testimony that there is a plan for each of us even if we screw up royally, which I have done. Satan would have us think less of ourselves to turn away from Heavenly Father out of shame, but the Lord stretches his arm out all the day long, inviting us to change, to improve, and to be happy.
I was remembered by the Lord and for that, I will forever be grateful.  This blessing didn't come to us with the snap of His fingers. There was sacrifice and heartbreak too. Our joy will forever be accompanied by humility. When we received our daughter, her birth family experienced the greatest loss. When they chose to place her, they also chose the heartbreak of not being able to see her precious face each day, to kiss her little hands, to hug her little body, to hear her sweet voice and laughter, to wipe away her tears, and to hear her say "I love you". I know they wanted these things so badly, but they loved her more than themselves. Someday Emerson will understand that they did the parent thing to do. They chose to forget themselves to give her what they couldn't. I don't say that to mean that I am the best mother or that I am better than anyone. I mean they gave her LIFE, a family - a mother and a father, love, and stability. Now that I am a mother, my heart aches to think of having to make that choice because my love for my child is beyond description and I know her birth mother feels this too. The Lord strengthened her and gave her peace and comfort to do what was best. I KNOW that our prayers on her behalf and the prayers offered by our family and friends buoyed her up as well. The guidance we received when we prayed to know what to do was so real I could have wrapped it in a box. So I know that when Cindy made this heart wrenching decision, the Lord's love must have pulsed through her heart, mind, and soul.
Our lives have been sanctified. Each precious moment we experience with Emerson is one that her birth family does not get to experience with her.  That is why I say that our gratitude is always felt with humility. We feel an overwhelming sense of purpose in our lives as we remember the Lord's love for us as His children, as we remember the sacrifice that was made for our daughter so that she might live with joy, and as we relish in the blessing of being a mother and father. It has made us both better people eager to be the best that we can and JOYOUS.
The sweetest music to my ears is when Emerson's birth mother writes or tells us that she is so happy with the decision she made. That she will never regret it. She feels part of our family too and that is the way we want it. She will always be in our hearts and minds. She is beautiful to us and basically, our angel. Our daughter is a beautiful soul and we owe much of that to the loving mother and father that placed her in our arms. Adoption IS a LOVING choice.

Nia Vardalos

2009-11-24T19:21:00.001-05:00

I loved her in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but now I really love her (except she considers Prop 8 to be "hateful", but you take what you can get)!

More Publicity

2009-11-23T14:59:00.001-05:00

SUE SCOTT, our local WLFI newscaster, participated in the Adoption Awareness Walk. She blogged about it HERE. Thanks Sue; especially for mentioning the most important detail - that adoption is a LOVING choice!

Front Page News...Thank You CORINNE FEIGHT!

2009-11-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

Jared was reading Purdue's Exponent at work this morning because he was drawn to an article on the front page about the salary freeze being lifted and right below it, he saw
THIS ARTICLE!

Why am I excited? Because everyone who reads The Exponent will be thinking about adoption.

"And out of small things...

2009-11-22T15:31:00.002-05:00

proceedeth that which is great" (D&C 64:33). This is the scripture that drove Sheri and I to follow through with a last minute adoption walk. Although small, we had a turnout that tripled our expectations. In a town of 185,000 people, 45-50 of them participated. Like I said, small. If we had planned this with numbers in mind, it would have been for the wrong reason. For one, we felt an urgency to just do it and it was last minute - like last week kind of last-minute! We knew our turnout would be meager. In our interactions with other adoptive families and researching other organizations and possible advocacy opportunities, we found NONE. If anything were to take place in our community, we were going to do it. I had someone tell me to wait until next year so I'd have time to make it bigger and better - "No point in doing something half-_____(insert vulagirty)." SERIOUSLY - I was told that! Why would we wait until next year just to "save face"? A year is a long time to get started on something that can't wait and can be done without a production. We are talking about children. Every great thing, every turning point, every shift in community support starts somewhere AND starts out small. So, we were anything but disappointed. We were thrilled! The families that participated had an energy about them that seemed eager to be unleashed. They had gratitude that they had something that THEIR families could celebrate proudly, that they could share knowledge by their very presence. They were excited to be gathered together with others that just know (not sure what I mean? Visit link). One of the adoptive fathers said to me on the walk, "Each year we'll gain momentum." EXACTLY!

When I spoke before the walk, I stated that our goal is/was to let our community know that adoption is a LOVING choice and that if one person considers adoption as an option because someone they knew attended the walk or they saw it in the paper or heard about these families, then we were/are successful. Here are some moments captured from yesterday:

I don't think that it was coincidence that yesterday was sunny and 60 degrees - in November!

Sheri (the FSA Chair and my friend) and the other happy supporters.

CUPCAKES! I ordered 200 knowing it would be too many and hoped it would not be enough. Of course we had too many. We sent them on to the homeless shelter by suggestion from a very smart supporter. Wal-Mart donated 75% of the cost of these cupcakes and did the little red hearts on top just for us. If you ever have a good cause that you need help funding, I'd be happy to tell you how to get Wal-Mart to help you. It is surprisingly simple!

My girl hovering over the cupcakes that she waited ever-so-patiently for. This event was important for her too. She knew she was going to be with children that shared something special with her and some of them are her very good friends.

I love this picture because Sheri got me on board with FSA and it has been the best thing I've ever been involved with second to my church. I love adoption and adoption advocacy. We have done so much together in the short amount of time we have known each other and volunteered together. Thank you Sheri! I will miss you when you move!

Sue Scott (our local newscaster) and I. She is an adoptive mother and a family friend. We were excited that she came to support. She also offered to help us plan next year's walk, which means more awareness on a larger scale - YAY!

This says it all.

ADOPTION AWARENESS WALK

2009-11-20T12:41:00.002-05:00

WALK with IN/KY Families Supporting Adoption

TOMORROW

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21 at 10:00 a.m.

at TAPAWINGO PARK, West Lafayette, IN

Our goal is to spread awareness that ADOPTION:

is a LOVING CHOICE
is supported by people in this community
gives life and blesses lives
is SELFLESS NOT selfish

COME SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!

Feature Family Friday

2009-11-20T07:57:00.000-05:00

There are hundreds of amazing couples hoping to grow their family through adoption. With their happy consent, I'm featuring Cindy and Jeremy!

Meet CINDY, JEREMY, and their adorable daughter LINDSEY.

They are some of the nicest people I've met!

In My Reading

2009-11-14T13:53:00.000-05:00

I started reading a great book this week called Twenty Things ADOPTED Kids Wish Their ADOPTIVE Parents Knew. It was suggested at the adoption support group I attended and I am really grateful for these kinds of books about raising adopted children. I have learned so much through my involvement in support groups and friendships with other families. Books written by people who have lived and learned (and are adopted) are invaluable to me. Here is just one (long) quote from the book:
"One reason many adoptive parents find openness difficult and scary is that they have bought into some of society's negative, stereotypical notions about adoption - messages that portray birth mothers as sluts, adoptees as damaged goods, adoptive parents as second best. In addition, many adoptive families have unknowingly accepted the shame-based myth that they should be just like families formed through birth. In some circles, just the mention of adoption loss (loss that all involved experience) is considered a sign of ingratitude or disrespect.
The fact that adoptive families are not formed by birth is not a bad or shameful thing, nor is acknowledging this truth giving a bad rap to the institution of adoption. Maintaining that the adoptive family is just like any other family is like saying a tree formed through grafting is the same as any other tree. It simply is not! Families formed through adoption have their own set of challenges as well as their own unique beauty.
In grafting, the two parts of the plant retain their separate identities. The genes do not intermingle. Pears produced on branches grafted into quince may become larger, but they will still look and taste like pears. In adoption, the adoptee also retains a separate biological identity. A significant portion of his emotional reality is formed long before the adoptive family ever lays eyes on him. These differences need not be a threat to the adoptive parent, but instead a springboard for celebration of the adoptee's unique identity and personhood."
If you are any part of an adoptive family, this is terrific reading and enlightening.

Feature Family Friday

2009-11-12T21:07:00.001-05:00

There are hundreds of amazing couples hoping to grow their family through adoption. With their happy consent, I'm featuring Scott and Holly!

Meet Scott and Holly! Aren't they adorable?

Great Video

2009-11-11T22:27:00.000-05:00

POWERFUL - I really enjoyed this!

UNITED BY LOVE

2009-11-10T21:14:00.000-05:00

I don't know why it took me so long to find out about this blog. It is FSA's (Families Supporting Adoption) BIRTH PARENT blog. This blog is BY FAR more interesting to me than any adoptive family blog. I could spend hours reading their posts. Please check it out. You will be uplifted, amazed, and in awe of the contributors and what they write. I have added the button to my side bar so you can return again and again as I will.

The Love of Great Grandma - MEME

2009-11-10T14:43:00.000-05:00

When I posted my mother's comments, my grandmother Meme wrote and said, "Sara, I am Emmie's great grandmother and I want to say how I feel too." And of course I said, "Please do Meme!" So here is what she wrote:
SARA BETH,
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I THINK YOU AND JARED ARE DOING SO MUCH GOOD FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO ADOPT AND THE DEAR MOTHERS THAT KNOW THEY WANT THEIR CHILD TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE THAN THEY CAN GIVE THEM. I SEE YOU AND JARED AND HOW MUCH LOVE YOU HAVE FOR YOUR ADOPTED EMMIE AND BEING EMMIE'S GREAT GRANDMOTHER, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO HELP OTHERS WHO WANT TO ADOPT... LOVE MEME
We love you too Meme! Thank you for loving us and for contributing to something so beautiful.

Written as a comment...

2009-11-10T08:34:00.000-05:00

but I had to post it:

Until my daughter Sara started the process of adoption, I had not thought much about it. I have a niece that is adopted - a wonderful girl! But until Sara and Jared decided to start the adoption process, I didn't realize the many emotions involved in this process; especially for the birth mother. I now realize that it is for the love of her child that guides her in making the decision that will be best for her child, whatever that decision is. When I see my granddaughter, Emmie, I think of her birth mother and what a loving, selfless woman she is. Adoption creates a connection that is so pure between these two moms. Emmie will always have her birth mother and her adoptive mother. The love that we have for her birth mother is so real it sometimes makes me cry. She will always be a part of our lives. We are forever grateful for her great love!

Emmie's Grandma

Thank you mom. I am fortunate to have such a loving, compassionate, supportive mother. I appreciate your sweet heart.

Judy's Story

2009-11-09T10:21:00.001-05:00

When we adopted our daughter Emerson, I received an enormous amount of love and support from the other teachers at school. Judy was one of them. She told me that Emmie was a lucky girl because we chose her. But I never understood that. Even now all I think is that WE are the lucky (blessed) ones. Here is her story:
Being adopted is the most wonderful gift a person can receive. My adoptive parents told my sister and I from the time we were little that being adopted was special. "Anyone can have sex and have a baby," my mother used to say, "but not everyone gets to pick out the baby they want. And only special people are willing to go through all the paper work and court hearings to get the special children that are adopted"
My name is Judy Badger, I am 58 years old and proud that I am adopted. Unlike most children that were adopted during the early 1950's, my biological mother couldn't decide whether or not to let me go. She would come to the Sunny Side Orphanage and rock me every two or three days, until I was almost 3 yrs old. My adoptive parents "picked me out" when I was just a little over 1 but, as I said earlier, my biological mother wasn't sure what she wanted to do. So for over two years my mom and dad waited and waited then it happened, my biological mother gave me the greatest gift she had to give. She realized that she was unable to give me the life that she would have liked to have given me. She struggled to stay sober,clean, and provide even the basics for herself. So she chose to give me to a young doctor and his wife, that would not only love me but also be able to give everything that I would need to become a strong self-sufficient woman.

So my friends, I have two wonderful women to thank for my rich life. First, I thank my biological mother for loving me enough to understand what was best for me, realizing that she wasn't going to be able to provide me with a stable home. And secondly, for my adoptive mother for all of her love and understanding throughout the 53 years that we were together. She was my teacher, my confidant, and my best friend. Being adopted was the best thing that ever happen to me, because it gave me real parents. Parents that loved, honored, and cherished me all the days we were together.
Thank you for sharing Judy! You are an inspiration to me and your story may bring peace to a birth mother somewhere or even a mother who is unsure about the decisions she must make right now. XOXO

LDS Family Services Encourages OPEN Adoptions

2009-11-08T18:26:00.001-05:00

This article was featured in The Standard yesterday. It is terrific! Please read it and pass it on!

JUST ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THE ARTICE:

Although Scott Case found his first children through a series of personal relationships, both of his children's adoptions were handled through LDS Family Services. He said the openness of both adoptions has contributed to the self-worth and well-being of all involved. "There's definitely a love between adoptive parents and birth parents," he said.Sheri Barker, a birth mother from Pleasant View who placed her daughter through LDS Family Services, said the openness of her 7-year-old daughter's adoption brought her a great sense of peace and closure."They treat me like an angel," said the 38-year-old of her daughter's adoptive parents. "I do feel like their angel."

Beautiful, just beautiful!

So I was on FB yesterday...

2009-11-07T12:39:00.000-05:00

and I was chatted up by someone I barely knew in high school. She started asking about my brothers (because she had a crush on every single one) and then she asked about my family and if Emmie was my only child. This seemed like a good opportunity to share that our daughter is adopted and that we are hoping to adopt again. When I mention those things a good adoption coversation usually follows. Sometimes awkward, sometimes interesting, and sometimes really positive. I always just hope that I've changed a person's mind for the better or reinforced their positive feelings toward adoption.

Our conversation went like this:
Interesting Person: Is she your only child?
ME: Yes, but we are hoping to adopt our second. Emmie is also adopted.
Interesting Person: Why not have your own?
ME: Can't. But believe me our daughter couldn't be any more ours than she is.
Interesting Person: Why can't you?
ME (Really surprised that "can't" isn't explanation enough): Infertility reasons
Interesting person: Is your daughter yours? (Even though I already explained that earlier)
ME: Yes she is. We adopted her.
Interesting Person: Oh. Good for you.
ME: We are just happy to have a family.
Rest of convo simmered out and came to an end pretty quickly.

I share this for a few reasons. One, this is a typical conversation. I have engaged in many of them and am happy to continue them my whole life. Two, she mentioned some things most people don't realize are incorrect or not very "politically correct". Most people would never ask why someone can't have biological children unless they really want you to tell them something they may be struggling with or they want to know if it is you or your husband who has the "problem". Also, without thinking about it, many people think of adopted children as not really the children of the adoptive parents, that their birth parents are the "real" parents. Things people say that aren't necessarily offensive, but good opportunities to educate others and to remind them that adoption isn't a second rate option to have a family. I am happy I chatted with "Interesting Person" because maybe she will tell one of her friends about adoption or even about us since we hope to adopt again!

Which reminds me! THANK YOU to Barret and Charmain for posting a "Hoping to Adopt" button on their family's blog telling everyone they know to check out our adoption profile! You have no idea what that means to us. Who knows - that may lead to something promising and spread awareness.

A second equally heartfelt THANK YOU goes out to Lindsay and Patrick for blogging about adoption on their website even though they are not an adoptive family. You don't have to be to support it! They even included an awesome birth mother video. Thank you so much! You two may really make a difference in someone's life.

Feature Family Friday

2009-11-06T15:40:00.000-05:00

There are many amazing couples hoping to grow their family through adoption. I am going to feature some of them throughout the month that gave me their happy consent!

Please meet Jeff and Anna!

H.R. 213

2009-11-06T14:52:00.003-05:00

I blogged about the Adoption Tax Credit earlier in the week. I hope that those of you have an interest in this tax credit contacted or will contact your state representatives. I quickly received responses back from mine. Senator Lugar (R) told me that he is a member of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption, which is a bipartisan alliance dedicated to improving adoption policies and services. He stated, "There is bipartisan and bicameral support to enact this legislation. I am hopeful that the Senate will pass the permanent extension in the near future.Thank you, again, for contacting me on this matter. I will continue to follow this and other adoption related initiatives with our mutual interests in mind." Representative Buyer (R) said that in Jan. the bill was referred to the House Committee for further consideration. He stated, "I will recall your thoughts should this legislation come before the House for a vote."

Indiana Friends in the 4th congressional district, I am conviced that Senator Lugar will vote in favor of making the adoption tax credit permanent, but Representative Buyer gave me no such hope. Contact Buyer HERE so that my thoughts won't be the only ones he recalls when it comes time to vote!

Find your state representatives: http://www.congress.org/
If you blog about this bill, your blog may end up on opencongress like mine mysteriously did. Who would've thought?

A Post A Day

2009-11-05T16:26:00.001-05:00

Through the month of November I am taking the challenge to blog about adoption every day. We will see how this goes since it is already the fifth! I am a strong believer that one person can make a difference. No one else may benefit from my posts but me, but pressing my keyboard is extremely theraputic and brings a lot of satisfaction when I share adoption love. Advocate right along with me by blogging about adoption too! If you don't have a blog, but would like to share your love of adoption, your experiences, or something great, email me and I will post it!

One Step at a Time

2009-11-03T15:14:00.002-05:00

In honor of Adoption Awareness Month, I created this display at our local library, which will stay up all month long. If you are thinking about doing a display at your library, do it! I just walked up to the front desk and asked who to talk to about creating a display for Adoption Awareness Month and they said "Sure!" They even started pulling adoption books to put in there for me when I left. I may go back next week and add pictures of adoptive families.

I included myths and facts about adoption, a list of negative adoption terminology & preferred adoption language, and two websites where more information can be found. Thanks to my friend Lindsay for letting me use her Cricut! That thing rocks!

A Call To Action

2009-11-02T20:28:00.001-05:00

Congress introduced the Adoption Promotion and Stability Act in 1996 to “help families defray adoption costs.” Increasing subsidies to adoptive parents has been one of the most effective ways of boosting the adoption rate. Unless legislation is passed, the Federal adoption tax credit that allows many adopting families to take a credit of up to $12,150 (2009) is scheduled to expire in December 2010. (For information on other legislation involving adoption go to adoptioncouncil.org/policy/fed_leg.html.) The Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009, H.R. 213 was written to repeal the sunset of the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001. This legislation will make the tax credit permanent.
Help Make the Current Federal Adoption Credit Permanent by Writing to your Representatives!
Here is how:
1. Find the name and Washington, D.C. mailing address of your Representative and Senators at www.congress.org. To find e-mail addresses, click through to the Senator’s or Congressperson’s Web site.
2. Next, log on to http://thomas.loc.gov/ to find out whether your Congresspersons are already co-sponsors of the legislation. On the thomas.loc.gov opening page, under “Search Bill Summary and Status,” search by bill number for H.R. 213. Then click on “Bill summary and Status.” On the page that comes up, click on “Cosponsors,” “Text of Legislation,” or “All Congressional Actions” to follow the progress of the bill.
3. If your representatives have not signed on as co-sponsors of the bill, send them your request that they do so. Tell them how important the tax credit was to you when you adopted your children, or how much you and other families you know are counting on it to be available in the future.
Act today, your efforts make a difference!

NOVEMBER: Adoption Awareness Month

2009-10-26T08:22:00.000-04:00

November is National Adoption Awareness Month! To spread adoption awareness there are many simple things anyone can do. Here are just a few ideas if you feel inclined to spread the word and help others:

Tell your local library about November and ask them to pull books about adoption (children's books too) to create a display for the month of November.
If you happen to have any adoption agency pass along cards like those that LDS Family Services have, leave them wherever you go: the bulletin at the grocery store, the library, the post office - anywhere!
Call your local newspaper and ask them to consider writing an article about adoption to support National Adoption Month.
Be willing to talk about adoption with others - share your knowledge and experiences.
If there happens to be an adoption walk in town - do it!
And here's a really simple one that requires no face to face contact: post something about adoption, link LDSFS or any adoption agency to your blog or website - be creative.

You never know who might benefit from learning more. There are a lot of sad misconceptions about adoption and we want people to know what it really is - ABOUT LOVE!

I Forgot to Add

2009-10-15T15:21:00.001-04:00

one very important thing that I knew in my mind, but you didn't (or maybe you did). I know a great number of people that despite either of our differences, are genuinely supportive of adoption as the best way to ensure an unplanned child's blessings on earth as well as in heaven. I never want to leave the impression that when I write about interactions with people, I'm suggesting that everyone is that way. I know that people are generally good natured and good hearted.
So here is something a good friend of mine shared with me that I will share with anyone who might find this helpful. If someone asks you a question about your pregnancy, infertility, adoption process, your adopted child, or any question about your family that you find to be intrusive, ask, "Why do you ask?" (before you say something smart). They may not be a rude person trying to judge your life decisions. They may be asking because they are trying to make decisions in their life and you might be the person to help them. If their intentions were to judge, that question is hint enough to mind their own business. Isn't that great advice?

A Post I Wrote 4 Weeks Ago - Approximately

2009-10-14T08:00:00.001-04:00

Today I met a new friend for lunch. We were encouraged to meet through a mutual friend who knows that both of us are trying to adopt. This is something I probably wouldn't have done a year ago. I had more in common with a lot of moms a year ago than I do now. But as time has passed, I have come to understand a few things:
1. Other people that have not experienced infertility or have not adopted have a hard time understanding what it is like and what adoption is or means. It isn't that they don't care or that they are insensitive (for the most part), they simply haven't been there.
2. I need and want a network of people that have adopted or are trying to adopt because I need friends to relate to. Just like women who know what it is to give birth. Not a word needs to be uttered, they just understand each other.
3. We aren't meant to face challenges alone. Adoption has never been a challenge for us. We are thrilled with adoption and thrilled to be able to have a family through adoption. It seems the challenge is having differences, which is a reality for everyone in one way or another. Often, when asked about adoption, I find that when I try to explain about this very precious and personal journey, I am speaking to someone who looks eager to understand or has an expression of pity or sorrow on my behalf. In both cases I appreciate their interest. And I appreciate their feelings for me but that is frustrating because I don't like that 2nd reaction. I want people to know that I am a happy person who desires no extra attention and no sympathy of any kind. I am happy! The challenge to bring a very friendly acquaintance one step further usually starts there. It is hard to move past that awkward lack of understanding about my family and me not desiring the "Oh that must have been so hard for you" sentiments because after I say, "No really, we are fine. It is great!" Their reaction sometimes turns into something completely different and I haven't quite figured it out yet but I think it is somewhere between them thinking that I am overconfident about it and borderline indifferent about the fact that we are "unfruitful" which may bother some women. Or (the following statement really is ridiculous, I know) for some reason I can't shake the feeling that some get the impression that I would rather adopt than try to have biological children because it is a thing to do. Just in case one person out there has had those thoughts, None of the above! It may be all in my head because I really have had some odd ball interactions. But this is the way it is for many people with small and big differences. You can't relate unless you've experienced their joys, journeys, or sorrows. I can't relate to the pregnant women at church who talk about breast feeding and those last 2 months. They probably get some of the same looks from me of "I am really sorry, but I have no idea what that is like so I have nothing to offer on the subject." See what I mean? BUT, I really try to add to the conversations with what I know about my sister's experiences and other family members. I love to hear about it because it IS exciting and I know that is is a really joyous time. But then some think that it probably isn't a good idea to talk about it with me for fear it would be too hard. This has never been a feeling of mine. I have had more joy than I could have ever hoped for with my daughter's arrival, nothing lacking. If that weren't the case, then maybe I would feel left out.

So I went to lunch with this new friend and experienced her heartache and pain. She spoke to me of the long hard road of infertility treatments, the struggle to be understood by family and friends, insensitivity of others, and the hope of adoption. She talked about things that we never tried and some things I never even knew could be done as well as the terrible reactions to medication she suffered through. My heart really hurt for her because she has been through the ringer physically and emotionally. I was looking at someone who I believe hurt more than I did during the whole process of trying to obtain a complete family. I could relate to a few things: the initial sadness of learning that what you expected to be able to do your whole life would not be taking place after all (no one really gives you a "just in case you can't have biological children" lesson), the judgements and insensitivity of others (whether or not they realize they are), and the hope that the child that is meant to be yours will eventually come. We never traveled down the road of fertility treatments simply because we knew what the Lord wanted us to do and because it was in his hands, we knew it would work out and that since it was meant to be we would be happy because that was the plan designed just for Jared and Sara. Oh how I wish this friend had that knowledge. Our testimonies, the gospel of Jesus Christ, is what quickly dissipated the sadness and replaced it with confidence, hope, and joy that we would be remembered by Heavenly Father. That we could receive guidance for our family and what we should do to have joy is such a blessing that I tried to share with her. How grateful I am to have the strength and comfort of prayer. Everyone's lives are challenging but we adoptive families have a lot of judgements shot in our direction about whether we did all that we could, how we handle our adoptions, how we handle the challenge of it, and so on and so on. It can be hard. Other women out there going through any of those things, just be comforted knowing that we all do and you aren't alone. The joy you experience within your own family unit discredits, nullifies, and dissolves any of the above mentioned challenges and they become tiny pieces of dust flying around that you won't even notice. If you notice them, it is because they have accumulated into a dust pile that needs to be cleaned off. That is when you tell the Lord and call your friend who knows exactly what it means to be an adoptive family or an infertility warrior.

This is my truth.

ThAnK yOu!!!!!!

2009-10-13T13:29:00.002-04:00

Thank you my wonderful friend and neighbor Ariane because you are usually the first person to call, stop by, and offer help when you think I need it. You knew I was very busy last week and out of the goodness of your heart, you left a delicious homemade chicken pot pie on my doorstep so that I wouldn't have to worry about cooking dinner. That day happened to be a day that dinner was the last thing on my mind! I appreciated that so much that I shed a few tears of gratitude because you are such a good friend.

General Conference

2009-10-11T19:50:00.003-04:00

came at just the right time. Over a week of an unusual type of digestive bug OR food poisoning took away all of my strength, motivation, and perspective on life. I may have said this before, but I've never felt so ill in my life! Pain and fatigue really do something to your mind and soul. I taught the young women (teenage girls) at church today about the Word of Wisdom. The Word of Wisdom is a commandment to take care of our bodies by abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, tea, coffee, and harmful drugs. Included in the commandment is the charge to consume healthy foods and to partake of them in moderation. I have an even stronger testimony of this commandment after that week. An unhealthy body makes for a weak mind, determination, and will. So when my family got to lay on the couch and listen to the inspired and righteous leaders of our church teach us truth all weekend long (called General Conference) it was exactly what I needed. They testified of God's love for all of his children and reminded us that all he wants is our happiness and commitment to living like our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am thankful to know that He offers us more love and guidance than we can comprehend. As a mother, I still don't come close to understanding His love for me. I know unconditional love for my child, but the Lord's is infinite. Knowing this truth enables me to have faith that when I pray to him for help, courage, strength, comfort, and wisdom, he WILL bless me with it. There is nothing better than hearing how much we are loved and watched over during General Conference twice a year. To listen, watch, or read the talks given, click HERE.

Yesterday my friend Sheri and I had the privilege of holding an adoption seminar for new and approved adoptive couples in Indiana and Kentucky. For me, these adoption gatherings are just as inspiring and wonderful as General Conference. You know how it feels to gather with other people who believe what you do and have the same goals and perspective on life? Well, we spent all Saturday speaking about the blessing of adoption. We heard unique adoption stories from adoptive families, talked about the gospel and the principle of adoption, and the best part - a beautiful, amazing, birth mother poured her heart out and testified of how adoption has blessed her life and the lives of those involved. It is amazing to me that someone who has done the hardest thing a mother could possibly do, can speak only of blessings, joy, love, and inspiration. There is only one reason she can. It is that she brought her heart to the Lord and inquired of Him and trusted that he would give her direction and strength to do what is BEST for her child. I am struggling to explain the spirit that I felt when she spoke. It was what I needed to hear as an adoptive mother who is on the receiving end of that sacrifice. My daughter's birth mother made our lives sacred when she placed Emerson with us. Our joy was a direct result of her inherent pain and loss. She LOVES Emmie and is confident she did what was best for this little girl who is loved by so many people. I love Emmie's birth mother and will always be grateful to her. I am sure that as our daughter grows we will see some of the amazing characteristics of her birth mother shine through. I hope she has that kind of courage and strength. And especially that kind of faith.

As we wait for Heavenly Father to send us another child to love, I am reminded that the Lord is aware of our desires and hearts. His plan is greater than any we could conjure up. Emmie came to us when she was supposed to and baby number two will do the same. That gives us joy and confidence that we can be happy in our lives right now because things are just as they are supposed to be. While I am thinking about it, THANK YOU to our family and friends who we know are praying for us and for the birth mother who someday will need the strength and comfort that only the Lord can give. Even our mail lady prays for us. Prayer is powerful and we have been blessed by it - NO DOUBT!

At the risk of sounding sorry for myself, which I have to admit, I kind of am - I am sick again! Nowhere near the violence of my last round, just a barking cough and achy skin. Something I learned from the last time is HUMILITY and GRATITUDE for all the blessings I have. It is a small challenge to have less than perfect health for a while. AND it has reminded me of how amazing my family is. They have served me, prayed for me, called to check up on me, Facebooked me, and my sweet husband has given me blessings. Thank you to my in-laws for that whole day of peace and rest. I appreciated that so much!

Maybe tomorrow....

2009-10-10T21:35:00.003-04:00

I will have time to sit down and write my heart out. Extra time has been scarce lately and I just realized that after tomorrow we will have an ideal, routine week!

ITSABOUTLOVE.ORG

2009-09-05T19:09:00.003-04:00

Jared and I have learned over and over that when you bring something to people's mind that you feel extremely passionate about, it resonates with them and they are often touched or feel motivated to also care about it or share what they know about the subject as well. When the spirit is present in those situations, something really amazing takes place. We recently had the pleasure of teaching about adoption at church last Sunday. We felt excited as we drove home because the members in that ward were eager to pass information about LDS Family Services (our adoption agency) to other people they know. Stories of adoption that some of those members had in their hearts and memories were brought to the surface and shared with others in a spirit of extreme gratitude and love. A man that was adopted shared a powerful story of appreciation for his birth mother and the happiness she chose for him. Later, I learned that in the last 12 years he attended that ward, most of the members had no idea that he was adopted until Sunday. This is a great reminder to us to SHARE! It softens peoples hearts and focuses them on something great. Our goal was to show others what resources are available to those who are looking for answers to a crisis pregnancy or who are desirous to have a family of their own. We wanted members to know why we, as Christian Latter-Day Saints, support adoption, to teach them that adoption is a blessing to everyone involved, and to let them know what they can do to support the cause of adoption. We know that none of us are where we are or know who we know by coincidence. We want others to be blessed in their lives and to have joy and we never know who might benefit from knowing about adoption as an option or LDS Family Services and the counseling they offer. Word of mouth or suggestions to others can be powerful! There are many alarming misconceptions about adoption and you can dispel them just by being aware of itsaboutlove.org and pointing others to it. Better yet, add the link to your blog! You never know who might come across it and how it will bless them.

Contact your Gov't Leaders... Who knows, it might help!

2009-08-28T16:19:00.004-04:00

Finally, a response after many months. BUT, I got one AND that ridiculous proposal fell through with so many responses - probably would have anyway, but it never hurts.
Dear Mrs. Hayman:
Thank you for contacting me regarding President Obama's proposal that would have billed veterans' private insurance companies for service-related injuries. I appreciate hearing your thoughts and understand your concern about ensuring access to quality, affordable health care for those who have served our country so valiantly.
I have always had great admiration for America's veterans. We need to ensure that the brave men and women who have made incredible personal sacrifices to defend our nation's freedom are provided with the safest and most effective treatment possible when they return from combat. After listening to concerns that this proposal could severely impact the ability of veterans and their families to access health care, President Obama instructed that the consideration of the proposal be dropped.
I strongly believe Congress should continue working to provide the best care for America's veterans. The services and benefits provided by the VA demonstrate our nation's commitment to our veterans; we can and should do better. Please be assured that I will keep your views in mind as the Senate continues working to provide the best care for those who have served our nation in uniform.
Again, thank you for contacting me. I hope the information I have provided has been helpful. My website, http://bayh.senate.gov, can provide additional details about my work in the Senate, including legislation and state projects. You can also sign up for occasional email updates. I value your input and hope you will continue to keep me informed of the issues that matter to you.

Office of Senator Evan Bayh
(202) 224-5623
Russell 131
Washington, D.C. 20510

Beautiful Story from a Birth Mother

2009-08-28T14:58:00.003-04:00

Jared and I have been working on an adoption lesson for church and came across this video of a birth mother telling her amazing adoption story. It is an extremely touching testimony of the guidance, mercy, and love of a wise Heavenly Father who blesses His children through adoption. Pass it on to others. It is great! (Oh and even though I love the music on my blog, it can be annoying if you don't turn it off before you start the video clip. Just push stop on the music player first.)

Emerson, My Sweet Emerson

2009-08-27T00:03:00.005-04:00

I can't sleep. I lay down most nights ready to fall asleep and something happens between turning out the lights and snuggling into my pillow and blankets. Just as I feel like I am going to give in to much needed rest, I start thinking. About twenty minutes later I feel more awake than tired and frustrated that I couldn't just give in. So here I sit, trying to put this alert state to use. I don't think I take enough quiet time at the end of each day to reflect and sort out my thoughts of what transpired in the last 16 hours. I think I need to do that before I lay down to go to sleep. More than anything, I think about the things I need to do, want to do, and better do with and for my family. Life can be busy. Busy is good. I love being busy with things that matter, but a lot of things don't. What kept me up this night was thinking about my daughter. My sweet Emmie Rose. She is life for me. Sometimes I get together with friends or go to enrichment activities and leave thinking that I should be doing more. More crafty or talent-related things with my time at home. After all, those type of things are worthwhile. I aspire to learn new talents or even read more books but it doesn't happen much here because I'm a mom. It drives me crazy how our culture has defined mother as someone who rears children alongside countless other less important duties including (but not limited to)keeping a spotless house, scrapbooking every single memory, reading the latest best sellers, staying perfectly fit, etc. I don't mean to sound negative toward these things because many of them are important to me. I guess what I am trying to say is that nothing matters more to me than being at home with my daughter and just focusing on her. She is my only child and I am sure many people reading this wonder why I would whine about time or being busy. It isn't about wishing I could do more. I want to do less. I just want to be mom. I am happy that I have many opportunities to learn, serve, grow, and get to know others but those wonderful things often take me away from what I love the most. Being busy can be a bad thing too. I am in my element when I can spend the entire day at home with Emerson reading to her, playing with her, taking walks with her, singing with her, washing dishes with her, spinning in circles with her, tickling her, holding her, telling her stories, watching her play, listening to her talk, and teaching her things. This is what I am here for. I don't want to miss anything she does because she is my existence. When I do other things, I am never as satisfied. I laid in bed thinking about Emmie tonight and the things she does and says and I worried that I spent too much time hurrying through the day to fit things in and missed opportunities with her to show her love, to appreciate her love, to listen, or to fulfill that need children have to be acknowledged by their parents often to feel of worth and important. It is a hard thing to make sure that you are in tune and focused on making the moments throughout each day meaningful. It takes prayer and less distractions. Emerson is easy to spend the day with. She carries on conversations with me that leave me so tickled every single day. I must jot some of her quips down as I think of them otherwise, I'll forget. Last week I was trying to help her push a chair over to the counter so that she could help me. She became frustrated with me and I said "I am just trying to help my girl." and she replied, "I am just trying to help myself." Fair enough. Jared sent Emmie to time out last week for something I can't remember, but as soon as time was up she headed in my direction and promptly said "I'm sorry about that mom." In a very matter of fact tone without any discussion about needing to say she's sorry. Yesterday Jared wanted to take Emmie to the playground/state park near our home after dinner. She overheard me say that maybe I would stay while they go so that I could work on the lesson for Sunday. She said "You can come too." I said "Why do you want me to come?" She said "Becaaaauuuuse.....we're girlfriends." I have no idea where that came from. Emmie loves to reminisce. She loves to talk about what she remembers. Most recently, she loves to talk about the thunder storm last week that woke her up in a terrible fright. She said, "Member mom, the thunder? And I yelled "Ahhhhh" and ran to you and you were in shower? Remember?" Or even better is when she asks me if I remember something that just happened a few hours previous like "Remember when we got ice cream?" We went to a friend's recently and Emmie's play date was having a really hard time behaving. As the friend exited the room to head to time out, Emmie whispered, "He is not being a good boy." very seriously. I appreciated her recognition of the need to whisper a comment like that. Emmie is interested in the concept of time lately. She asks "What time it is?" and she tries to use time in her discussions because she hears it being talked about in every day conversation. When we left our neighbor's home the other day, she yelled, "Bye! See you next summer!" At the library on Monday she kept trying to move her way to the front of the room to see the story. On her way up there she had to step over, through, and around many younger children. I was overjoyed to hear her saying "Excuse me....excuse me....excuse me" It is funny to me to see such a little person using her manners without being reminded. I would hate to miss all of the things I witness Emerson do each day. This morning we were following Jared to the garage. We were approaching a red light and Emmie said "We're going to be stopping. Daddy stopped!" Thanks for letting me know Em. I think I see the beginnings of a back seat driver ha ha ha. Anyway, I could go on and on about her, but I am sure every other parent knows what I'm getting at. Time moves too fast and I just want to hold on to my child and make sure that she knows I love everything about her before she goes ahead and grows an inch more.

A Cherished Visit

2009-08-22T08:15:00.004-04:00

Yesterday Em and I loaded up the car and headed south to visit my beautiful, amazingly talented friend Charmain and her family. They are moving back to Texas next week - about 13 hours away (big sigh). We met the Runyons in October of 2007 soon after the three wards in Terre Haute had been combined back into two with a little rearranging of boundaries. It was the third time in the three years we lived there that we were switched to a different ward. We didn't expect to make new friends with only 4 months to go before we moved, until I saw Charmin carrying her 3 month old out of Sacrament meeting one Sunday. I introduced myself out in the foyer, which is where we both seemed to spend most of sacrament meeting. It took me a couple weeks to get around to calling her. I didn't hear back so I called the next week. Didn't hear back and then called a few days later. Finally, I got a call back. Once we hit it off I learned that Charmain wasn't blowing me off per se, she just loved the fact that I was "stockerish" (totally joking) and it made her feel good. She knew that I really wanted to be friends and not just bugging her to be nice. Gosh I'm glad I was persistent. Some might find this odd or maybe even rude, but not me. I love this about Charmain. She is so quirky and particular, but also very honest and intelligent. I appreciate how we've always felt comfortable telling each other the plain truth and have never taken offense to it. Those sometimes lonely months of staying at home with a little baby were so much more interesting and enjoyable because I had Charmain to spend time with since we were pretty much at the same stage with our only children. I can voice my opinions to her and never feel bad about it or judged because I actually have an opinion. She thinks it's great. She is also opinionated and not afraid to share. Some people think this is a negative quality. I think it shows conviction, belief, direction, and smarts. She is not however, rude or mean - that is different. Even better, her husband studied political science and is caught up in world news, which is also very important to Jared and me. I admire Charmain's ability to just whip up a beautifully crocheted blanket, to sing her heart out (some day I will sing like that in heaven), or to come up with the most adorable things for children.
Anyway, we spent the day with the Runyons and it flew by. Emmie played with Lucas, one of her very first friends ever. They were terrific together hugging, holding hands, sharing grapes, Lucas combing Emmie's hair and sharing his violin with her. And Charmain and I sitting there wondering why we hadn't made these trips more often. The last face to face visit we had was almost a year ago! Life is just busy. We sat on the couch and talked for three and a half hours and couldn't believe how time flew. I could have stayed all night talking with her. There are people I have known for years that I've never sat and talked to like I can with her. I am so glad I had the chance to meet Charmain. The great thing is that distance hasn't made a difference in our friendship. We will still talk every week as always and I will look forward to her husbands emails and updates. Have a great trip you guys! See you next summer?

Jared

2009-08-14T13:51:00.006-04:00

As I was putting together a scrapbook of sorts containing all of Jared's letters home while on his mission, I found a wonderful letter describing many of Jared's wonderful qualities. Written on May 25, 1999; it reads:
Dear Brother and Sister Hayman & Family,
I am writing to tell you what a wonderful missionary and person your son is, we as a ward have been in kind of a slump as far as missionary work for a while until Elder Hayman and his companion were transferred in, he arrived with a companion who served his first day in the field here, so your son was his trainer. They went straight to work. They work so hard, my husband is the Longspeak Ward Mission Leader so we work closely with him. They work tirelessly tracting, doing service, and making a great example of our young men in this town. We are getting ready to open a new chapel in Lyon, Co. so the people don't know much about "Mormons" I don't think. We have only been here for six months so we are really new to the area too.
I wanted to tell you an example of love and service that we heard about from someone in town: We recently had some heavy rainstorms. In the town of Lyons we have a river that flows through town. During the winter it is a small stream but with rain melting the snow in the mountains and rain, it turned to a torrent over night. The Elders were out tracting and saw a woman working furiously to sandbag the back of her house. With no thought of shoes and dress clothes, they went to work helping. The impression they made that day will bless the ward here for a long time.
Your son is one of the nicest most thoughtful young men I have gotten to meet in a while. He is easy to love and care about.
I have 2 sons who have been home from missions a short time and one who is waiting to enter the MTC and a daughter who is a junior in high school
The boys have all been doing splits and helping teach some Spanish speaking people as two of them went to South America on missions. They have truly become good friends. My daughter has been trying to answer questions at school with help from the Elders about how to put things with tact.
We are so grateful that Elder Hayman is here. He is such a workhorse and has a mighty testimony and such an unassuming attitude. His heart and his testimony are so huge he overflows. I have never seen him without a smile on his face. Elder white could not have had a better trainer.
We don't know when he will be transferred but we hope it won't be for a long time. He has done so much good for our ward. Well, I am rambling so better close but I wanted to thank you for raising such an outstanding son. He is a credit to you, his church, and his God....
P.S. He is physically well and a spiritual giant. Thank you again for sharing him with us.

I am blessed to say that you are still all of those things. And even more now because you also have the qualities of a sweet, adoring father and husband. I am thankful to have you in my life. I hope you have a great birthday.

Finger Lakes area is ranked first

2009-08-13T13:55:00.002-04:00

The following article was found in the Democrat and Chronicle on Aug. 7, 2009. Why did I post it? Because I grew up in the heart of the Finger Lakes and I love that place! Here it is:
The Finger Lakes region has been named the top lakeside retreat in the world by the editors of Shermans Travel, beating out contenders such as Lake Como in Italy and Lake Mead in Nevada.
Lake Kawaguchi in Japan was No. 2 and Lake Como was No. 3.
Shermans Travel LLC, a Web site founded in 2002, is a New York City review and rating agency.
The 11 Finger Lakes "are interspersed by pastoral landscapes of quaint waterfront villages and scenic vistas of gushing waterfalls and rocky gorges," the editors wrote of the 14-county region.
The award marks an effort by Finger Lakes officials to get the word out about the region. "To the rest of the world, it's still largely a secret," said Scott Butler, director of marketing for the Finger Lakes Tourism Alliance.
The alliance has spent the past year and a half talking to the media about the region's assets, and the world is taking notice, said Cindy Kimble, president of the Finger Lakes Tourism Alliance.
But what do the Finger Lakes have that makes them competitive with lakes in Italy and Japan?
For one, the 11 lakes were carved by glaciers, and the resulting beauty and 1,000 regional waterfalls attract hundreds of thousands of people annually, said Butler.
With the addition of dozens of wineries, tourists can visit the large region without feeling they are visiting an attractions-centered site, he said.
Shermans Travel is run by Jim Sherman, a former corporate manager at Time Inc., according to the company's Web site.
The company says its editors screen hundreds of travel deals each week, and publishes its picks in an e-newsletter that reaches more than 3.5 million subscribers weekly

More Pictures from Camp - Not Chronological

2009-08-04T13:14:00.005-04:00

Lake Erie - There was a sign that said "Hazardous lake bottom. No swimming, wading, or walking." Can you see the muck? Too bad. I can't imagine it is like that all the way around.
My brother Jon and his second youngest Samuel.
This is how our daughter is - happy-go-lucky - never in a hurry to reach a destination. She stops for everything. This is how are walks are.
Our nephew Ian. Quite a handsome boy.
The rope swing.
I love this guy.
Kristin, my sweet sis who happens to look stunning even with the wind blowing in her face and hair everywhere.
Our nephews Ben and Will - my sister's sons.
We found these wild blueberries growing in the brush alongside the path to camp. They were pretty good.
The boys having fun.

Sweet little Anna turned one the day after my birthday. She is beautiful and tiny. Poor little girl had an ear infection though and had a hard time.
Sophia Catherine

I couldn't help but take pictures of Sophie. She is lovely. Such brilliant eyes.
My brothers Eric and Jon. We missed Andrew so much!!! He works too hard to be able to come up this year.
Jared had a great time. He is such a great husband.

Vacation on Seymour - More to come

2009-08-02T15:36:00.014-04:00

Last Saturday we loaded up our car and started our 1100 mile journey to northern Vermont. We were nervous anticipating our daughter’s frustration and whining on such a long trip. But we said a prayer, vowed to be patient all the way to the end, and didn’t look back. Let me tell you - prayer works! Emerson was absolutely angelic. Man did we appreciate that! We felt pretty good about the vacation at that point. After 13 hours on Saturday we stopped in NY and stayed with my Brother Jon’s family and then continued on following them to Lebanon, NH on Sunday. We had a brief visit with Meme (my grandmother) and ate dinner at my sister’s beautiful new home. After dinner everyone loaded up and followed each other to Seymour Lake. I have always loved that drive. The mountains are breathtaking and not so intimidating that you feel claustrophobic. I tried my best to take some pictures as we drove.
This is blurry, but if you look closely, the building far off is dam or bridge between two mountains.

I am not sure I’ve blogged about “Camp” before. Camp is my grandmother’s cottage on Seymour Lake in Northern Vermont around 10 miles south of Canada. My grandparents honeymooned there (so did we) and bought the camp when they were first married. My mother spent every summer of her childhood up there and I can’t remember a summer that we didn’t go. It is a gorgeous place. Rolling hills of green, beautiful mountain landscapes, rich farmland, lovely freshwater lakes, the smell of sweet hay, the simple lifestyle of the locals, pine trees, birch trees, the beautiful sound of the loons call on the lake. I could go on, but words fail to emphasize the beauty my mind sees. There is enough of a population to make it a civilized place and too little population to ruin this oasis that my family loves. I speak so dearly of camp because this particular trip to Seymour may be the last – at least to stay in our home away from home. We hope not, but the camp may sell and if it does, it will be like losing apart of us. With that in mind, I spent a lot of the week taking picture after picture so that I could create a scrapbook about our beloved camp. It’s not where you are but who you’re with that really matters. Camp is a place, but a place where my family bonded and created some of our fondest memories. And it really is incredibly lovely there. I was excited for our daughter to be at an age where she could begin to appreciate the love and fun that we experience there. Hopefully, it won’t be her last time.
To get to the lake from the main road, you take dirt roads to the cottages. At the turnoff to our camp, there is a horse ranch called Seldom Rest. It used to be a busy thriving farm. There were hundreds of horses in the fields surrounding that farm and teenagers spent weeks working on that farm and riding horses on the trails. Walking to the farm was a daily ritual when I was little. My brother Jon loved it so much that he actually paid the owners to come and groom the horses for a week while we stayed at camp. That never did make sense to us, but there was something about that farm. The owners have grown very old and there aren’t but a handful of horses in their barn now. It isn’t what it used to be. A half mile down the winding dirt road, you’ll find our camp nestled in between two other camps. They are close in proximity, but you’d never know they were there as quiet as they are and as private as the landscape permits. Our camp faces the west side of the lake and sits about 10 feet from the water on a sandy beach. There is nothing more relaxing that sitting on the dock and listening to the water whether still or wavy.
Almost to camp - it's just around the bend.
I took this on our way back from fishing. Our camp from the lake.
The water is very clear.
Another camp pic.
Sunset on Seymour.
My brother Jon heading back in the canoe. I love the reflection in the water.

Mom kept telling us that we may be disappointed because their summer had been rainy and cool. We were extremely fortunate because last week was sunny and warm except for some light rain one evening. We took the party boat out a few times and Emmie was simply overjoyed. It is great fun to see her relish in the things that I have stored in my memory from childhood. I was fortunate to be able to celebrate my birthday at camp. In fact, I believe I’ve spent more birthdays there than not. Our niece Anna turned one while we were there so we celebrated together. It just isn’t my birthday unless we are at camp.
One of the highlights of our week was the last day we spent there. To give you some necessary background, Seymour Lake is known for little luck with the fishing. My grandfather went out on the lake almost every single morning to fish and never had much luck. There is this unspoken challenge of catching something big in that lake that each man aspires to do while knowing in the back of his mind that it is unlikely. My husband LOVES to fish. He just went on a fishing trip to MI a couple months ago and wished he had caught more fish. I kept telling him “Just wait until we go to camp because you will go fishing again.” Well, he, like all the other men up there, had low expectations. Jared kept quoting a magazine article he had read about Seymour Lake that said something to the effect of “Don’t expect to catch anything in that lake.” Around 6:00 a.m. on Thursday morning Jared, Emmie, and I loaded up my grandfather’s boat and headed out onto the lake to see what Jared could catch. The lake was perfectly still on that morning and the fog was hovering over the mountains so the scene was perfect. I think we were the first ones on the lake. We had been out for about 30 minutes when Jared let the boat drift over by the point where a magnificent log house is being built – most likely the best property on the lake by far. The construction workers were already at work and could see us from the shore. Jared felt a tug on his line and started reeling it in. Immediately, we knew that this wasn’t just another small perch! It took Jared about 5 minutes to reel it in. The construction workers saw Jared’s fishing pole bending toward his feet and his struggle so they all stopped working to watch. This doesn’t happen very often on Seymour Lake. It was a huge small mouth bass. I am so glad I grabbed my camera on our way out because this was the highlight of my husband’s (and mine) summer and I have proof of the bass that he was able to conquer in our beloved and “barren” lake. I tried to convince Jared to keep it and mount it. But bless his heart; he hates to take big fish like that away from the water. Knowing this had to be a trophy bass, Jared did some research and found that the record for small mouth bass in Vermont is about 6 lbs., which his bass was easily (probably 7). We headed back to camp to tell everyone. I don’t think either of us stopped smiling the rest of the day. My poor brothers felt like they missed a great time with Jared. I just knew that my grandfather would be proud of Jared.

I took these two pictures while out fishing. A beautiful morning!
This cabin used to be just the one side that is already stained. Quite amazing!

Letting it go.

Jared conquered his big fish and I conquered running up two very steep roads. I love running (and often walking) while surrounded by all the peaceful scenery so it is something I always do while at camp. My Uncle Richard built a camp just 2 miles away from my grandmother’s many years ago. Even though it is on the same lake, you have to drive out onto the main road and down some private dirt roads around the other end of the lake, which makes for a perfect distance and destination for a run. I wish I had taken pictures of the road I ran up and down because you’d appreciate it much more with a visual. Even thought the hill I ran up twice was probably only one tenth of a mile, it was enough of an incline to make my hips and rear sore for a couple days. That would be a great run to do every single day.
All in all, we had a great time. We relaxed on the beach, took boat rides, ate LOTS of food, stayed up really late, played in the sand, fished, swam, canoed, drove to the quaint little town called Island Pond, watched the children play, and walked to the big rock. The big rock is a large boulder about the size of our living room in the middle of a corn field (used to be a grassy field) up the dirt road from camp. We believe it must have been placed there by moving glaciers. The big rock is just another place at camp that is novel to us and especially the children. They love to go to the “Big Rock” and think that is it the biggest rock there is.
Us on the big rock.
Walking to the rock.
Emmie and her cousin Samuel - great friends.
Such cuties.
Approaching big rock
Jared, Em, Samuel, Jon, and Ian
Corn field where the big rock lives.
I hope that my brother buys the camp or that it doesn’t sell. It is part of our history and brings my family together to a place that we all love. I feel grounded and peaceful there like I remember who I am and what my true purpose is. I don’t need a vacation in the tropics; I just need my family and Seymour Lake.

We tried to get all the children together. It was somewhat chaotic, but here they are. Will, Adam, Emmie, Sophie, Ian, Anna, Sam, and Ben. We missed Noah and Henry terribly!
I was laughing so hard at this. Emmie was cold and wore a hoodie over her lifejacket, which made her look like the huntchback of Notre Dame. It also made it very difficult for her to get up onto the seat. So silly.
Uncle Ryan was good to Em. Can you tell she was pleased?
Pure happiness on the boat.
Em's view from the swing. She loved swinging over the beach and cousin Will loved pushing her.
Jared fishing from the doc with Mabel.
Jared swimming - an action shot!

A Place of Love and Beauty

2009-07-13T14:25:00.004-04:00

My grandmother, Kathleen or "Meme" (as we love to call her), went to the temple a few weeks ago to make covenants with the Lord and to be sealed to my late grandfather for time and all eternity. I was anxious that weekend knowing that I would not be able to attend and witness this amazing culmination of faith, love, and obedience. It was not about me. It was about Meme and covenants she needs to have pure joy. I am so glad she didn't wait a minute longer. I shed many tears that Saturday realizing what this means for my mother and my whole family. My grandmother was sealed to her true love; a man that she devoted herself to faithfully. Not only that, my mother knelt with her mother and was sealed to her parents. She will be their daughter "forever and ever" - as our sweet daughter likes to say. Because of my Meme's faith, I will always be her granddaughter and be able to bask in the love that only grandparents give. I am grateful to Heavenly Father for providing us with temples; places where we can feel closer to Him, receive guidance, learn our purpose, serve others, and make promises that bless generations. Meme, I love you so very much. You are an amazing woman. Your love, strength, faith, and hope blessed our family so that when truth was manifested, we were able to recognize it and find happiness. I am so glad that you have such strong faith. Thank you for always being an example to us. We love you!

Beautiful Story: A GREATER LOVE

2009-07-12T22:07:00.003-04:00

I came across this article tonight and it is extremely uplifting. Here is just a small snippet from the article:

"Yet during my teenage years, I often thought that someday I would like to find the woman who had given birth to me. I was curious about the circumstances surrounding my birth, and, most of all, I wanted to thank my birth mother for what she had done for me. Although I did not fully comprehend the complexities of the decision she had made, I did know that placing a child for adoption was not a popular choice. I was incredibly grateful that my birth mother had chosen to give me something she could not provide herself—an eternal family with both a mother and a father to love and care for me."
THE ARTICLE

If It's Different, It's More by Asien LaRosa

2009-07-02T13:21:00.002-04:00

I've been asked if I feel different, if I'm a "real" mom.

I assure you, I am a real Mom. When my children are hurt, I cry real tears.
When I see joy on their faces, I smile a real smile. We laugh together, real laughs.

I defend them like a lioness. I stand guard over their hearts and nothing gets past me.

While they sleep, I watch. I look at their hands, and eyes, and expressions, and I see me. My love is immesurable. I hold on to these moments of life, my heart records it all inside.

My children are exact answers to prayer. There's nothing I'd change. I've been given more than I could have ever even dreamed of. My children are signed masterpieces, signed with God's own hand. I've seen an awesome God through my children.

If I'd been asked, I'd have taken the pain of childbirth for them. But, intead God made it a birth of the heart.

I'm the natural Mom, it was a lifelong plan. I'm righteously proud. I've been given first prize. Anything else I do pales at the blessing of being their Mom.

I'd live content to just sit and watch their every moment. They should walk tall, for they are valued above all else.

Well, maybe I do feel different. If it's different, it's more.

Written by a grateful Mother,
with a thankful heart.

Hoping to Adopt

2009-07-01T13:54:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we announced to our family that we are approved and waiting to adopt our second child. We are excited to be at this point in our lives. We are thankful for our daughter and the fulfillment and joy she has brought to us. We still have so much love to give and so does she. The thing about adoption is we just don't know when our baby will come to us. That is okay. We know that when the time is right for everyone involved, it will happen. What we can do is pray that the baby that is meant to be ours will come to us and that the birth mother will be given the strength and comfort she needs to make the best decision.

As for our friends and family, you can pass the word along to anyone you know that may be considering adoption for their baby. We aren't really about marketing ourselves, but we know that we should do everything that we can to receive this blessing. If you feel inspired, you could direct them to our ADOPTION PROFILE on LDS Family Services or tell them to check out our FAMILY'S BLOG. You just never know. We will be happy just to be included in your prayers.

Thank you for the love and support of family, friends, neighbors, and leaders. You are all a strength to us. We will let you know of any good news.

My Father

2009-06-23T12:53:00.000-04:00

I intended to blog about my father by Father's Day, but didn't make enough time for it until now. I love my father very much. As a little girl I admired him in his Army uniform each day and was extremely proud that my daddy was a soldier. He looked so handsome, strong, brave, and confident. I am not sure I have ever told him that. I remember putting on his hat that had a pin on the front and hoped to be like him in some way. My father is a jack of all trades of sorts. He has been a gas attendant, held many different ranks as a soldier including warrant officer, worked on bombs in the military, was a director for the Red Cross, a Quality Control Manager for 2 different factories, and is currently an ER nurse while completing a master's degree. I don't ever remember dad lecturing me about working hard or the importance of work. I don't think he ever had to. He worked so hard all the time that his example was enough. Just to look at his hands, you'd know. They are large, course hands that often tremble with aches and pains.

We used to live close to the Army Depot, which is where we did a lot of our shopping. When we were on base, I hoped we'd run into dad somewhere. I liked walking on base with him because other soldiers stopped to salute him. I loved that. Every time I eat a really good brownie, I think of dad taking me to the mess hall type restaurant on base and buying two brownies and two milks for us. We sat there and enjoyed our snack quietly, but I was with my dad. He probably didn't have a lot of time to spend doing those things.

Our family didn't have an abundance of anything growing up, but we didn't lack either. There were many sacrifices my parent's made as military folks raising 5 children. Moving to foreign countries a few times, moving often and leaving friends and family behind, living without dad for some periods of time to fulfill duty requirements. These type of experiences have given me such an appreciation for my country and for the people who serve to protect it. My memories of dad are not just as an Army man, but of him telling me stories at night when he'd tuck me in. His made up stories were thoughtful and I wish I could remember the name of the squirrels and birds they were always about. Even now, his stories continue to entertain me even though I am not quite sure they are all true! Even my husband loves this about my father. I appreciate the times that dad took me fishing just me and him. I can't imagine how frustrating I probably was to work with, but he took me. I have put my father through the ringer in small ways and large. I feared my father the way a child should - sometimes more than I wanted to. But I always knew that he loved me. He loved me when he tried 5 different ways to explain math problems to me, he loved me when he taught primary songs to me when I was little, he loved me when he made teenage boys feel scared and unwelcome in our home, and he loved me when he forgave me for the many times I disappointed him growing up.

My father taught me charity and love for others. He'd drive almost an hour in one direction to pick someone up for church. He served in many capacities for many years. He has a lot of compassion for others, which combined with his knowledge, makes him a wonderful nurse. He appreciates education and learning and can tell you some important as well as some really useless facts. My father is not a perfect man. He'll tell you that. But he is my dad and his love for me means everything. I remember holding his big, rough hand as a little girl and feeling protected. Now my little girl grabs her grandpa by the hand and I wonder if she feels the same way.

Fathers mean everything. We seek their approval our entire lives. Their acknowledgement and approval can change our self worth. Thank you dad for loving me.

7 Years

2009-06-02T14:35:00.000-04:00

Jared and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary yesterday. This time went by quickly. Where did it go? I guess we have been pretty busy since we got married. We had to finish school while working, get "real" jobs, get more schooling, find more jobs, start a family, and move a few times. But that is just life. I don't think it would have mattered if we waited until we were done with school to get married. Life is just busy for everyone no matter what stage of life you are in. I am glad we didn't wait. There were doubts in my mind about marrying so young and so soon (even though we waited a year and a half, which is like 5 years in Mormon culture). I am thankful we married when we did. We grew a lot and became even better friends, confidants, and companions because we worked so hard to make ends meet and learn lessons together. We have all the more great memories, lessons, trials, blessings, and happiness because we wanted to get started on life together and not wait a minute more. It is daunting how quickly time DOES move. I remember thinking that once we were done with school, our lives would begin or when this or that is finally done, then life would begin. Life has always been happening. It is in those small moments throughout each day that seem insignificant that the memories of our lives are formed. It makes me sad to think that I ever want or wanted any of them to hurry up and pass. Our life hasn't been perfect, but thankfully, it isn't. The imperfect times have made us a happier, more united family. I want to thank my husband for being the wonderful man that he is. They say that your spouse can either hold you back from reaching your full potential or help you to reach it. I think Jared has helped me. I hope that he will always same the same of me. I love you Jared.

My Angel and Friend

2009-05-25T20:20:00.001-04:00

Here I am with a very special person. This is my daughter Emerson's birth mother, Cindy. She is amazingly strong, intelligent, selfless, and brave. I admire her great faith. It took faith for her to know that the decision she made to place Emerson with us, was a good one. We feel so blessed to know her and have learned so much from her. We speak of her with reverence and pray that she will always be blessed in her life. I don't think she really knows the magnitude of joy that she brought into our lives when she placed Emerson with us. We have been blessed.

My Garden

2009-05-24T18:25:00.000-04:00

Jared and his father nailed a 10X4 rectangle together in preparation for my very first garden on our own property. They placed it in our back yard and Jared helped me fill it with soil from the empty lot next door mixed with top soil from Menards. Jared made sure that I was able to get started on it before Mother's Day, which I really appreciated.

Here is a row of winter peas and green beans that I planted from seed. The green beans take a little longer and are slowly coming up. Once they started sprouting, they popped up 2 inches over night! I was so excited.

I bought a cucumber and zucchini starter and here you see them both getting pretty big already. Hopefully, they both have enough room.

My daughter Emerson thinks tomatoes are the best food. She eats them like apples and prefers them over strawberries most of the time. So I wanted more tomatoes than anything else. Originally, I had 5 tomato plants. The largest was planted directly in the middle and it snapped off at the very base of the plant during a severe rain storm we had last week. I am not sad about this. I think it is for the best because the tomatoes are too close to each other as it is. Now the ones that are thriving have more room to grow. I went with grape tomatoes and first ladies. I may not see much of the grape tomatoes if Emmie gets to them first.

These are green and red peppers. I am looking forward to some stuffed peppers, stir fry, and some really great salads.

I think I may have planted too much in this small amount of space, but I figured this will be a trial and error experience. I am hoping that the plants will all adjust to their surroundings and grow according to the space they have and produce good fruit for us at the same time. And if nothing else, Emmie will enjoy watering it each day, pulling weeds, and digging around in the mud.

Flat Tire Lesson

2009-05-12T12:24:00.000-04:00

Em and I were heading home this morning and while we were driving in the car, I was talking to her about her "owie" and how it was scary to go to the doctor. I was telling her about how Heavenly Father helps us when we are scared and hurt if we pray. Just as this conversation was drawing to a close, I hit a pothole and got a flat tire. We pulled into a turn off and I realized that this was my opportunity to put my lesson into action and show her that I believe what I said. We said a prayer and I got out of the car to change the tire. Just as I was lifting the car with the jack, an older man pulled in behind us and offered to help. I knew I could do it, but I knew he would do it faster. Plus I already scraped my finger turning the jack handle close too the ground. He was really nice and wanted to help because he saw the stroller sitting on the ground behind the car and had a grandchild of his own. I stood there smiling because I was glad that Emmie saw someone come to our aid after we prayed. This is not that profound of a situation, but it was a testimony to me that as a parent, I will always be given answers to blessings when I ask and help with teaching gospel principles to my daughter. Even better, Em fell asleep before it was finished.

My Mother

2009-05-10T15:19:00.000-04:00

Mom, I was thinking about you all day and am sad that I cannot be with you to help you feel appreciated and special like you have always made me feel. Here are some things that I know for sure I learned from you:

I learned how to smile because of your beautiful smile, your lightheartedness, and general satisfaction in life.

I learned empathy. You have a gift of knowing other people's needs, wants, struggles, pains, and sorrows. Your heart is softened toward others and you do what you can to let them know you care.

I learned charity. I will never forget the countless times you pulled over to offer the crippled man down the road a ride to town, home, or to church. Or your unwavering faith in the law of tithing and fasting. I have never seen you turn away anyone in need even those who offend.

I learned to pray earnestly. I cannot count how many times I walked into your room while you were kneeling by your bed in prayer. I knew that prayer was important to you and you taught me that it is essential to being happy.

I learned forgiveness. All I can say is that you have a heart that is all encompassing.

I learned to be happy with who I am. I need to thank you for never criticizing me for any of my flaws or weaknesses. You have always loved me just the way that I am and have never focused on superficial things. I am grateful that I can pass this on to my daughter so that she can always be confident in each stage of her life.

I learned to be positive and see the good in others. I have always praised you for never speaking ill of others. I cannot remember listening to negative talk in our home about other people. This is a rare quality to find.

I learned to love with all my heart. I am grateful that I grew up in a home where love abounded. I knew I was loved because I was told, hugged, kissed, and listened to. I believe this is why I am so close to all of my siblings. We love each other because we saw how valuable we all were to you and dad.

I learned to stand up for what's right. Even though you are mostly soft spoken, you won't let people treat you poorly or treat others poorly. You always defend the right and speak your mind when you believe necessary. I feel confident in doing the same from your example and I always feel so good when I do.

I learned to be humble. I am sitting here and I know 100% that I have never ever heard you brag, gloat, or say anything to anyone else to make them feel like you are better than them in any way, shape, or form. You have never had the need to make yourself feel good in that way. You have always been content in knowing that you have what makes you happy and that is enough. I admire that so much and I find that those who do the opposite I think very little of.

I learned to laugh. Especially at myself. There are many people in this world that always have to be the best (or at least appear to be). They have to compete and they take themselves way too seriously. I can't imagine that they are happy because there is always someone to compare themselves to and to try to be better. You taught me to do your best and do what you can. You laugh about your mistakes and blunders all the time and I love it! It has helped me to get over things, learn, and move on. It is way more fun to laugh than to mull over things.

I learned to say "I'm Sorry". Pride is a terrible challenge to overcome sometimes. I remember you when I have the need to say "I'm sorry" but I don't necessarily want to. I always remember your humility in telling us, your children, that you were sorry for your part in any disagreement or hurt feelings. You told others that you thought you may have offended that you were sorry because you know it is the right thing to do. You care about other's feelings and admit your imperfections. This is not what the world teaches today. This is a Christlike attribute that is very important. Thank you for teaching me this kind of humility.

Most importantly, I learned that family is all there is. The example you have set for me will manifest itself in generations to come. Your faith, your love, your kindness, your choices in life are the constants that have molded me into the mother I am today. I wouldn't know the joy of motherhood today if I hadn't seen the love in your eyes every day as a child. I wouldn't have yearned for this experience if I hadn't seen that joy in you.

Thank you mother for loving me. I love you with all my heart. Happy Mother's Day!

Post Mini-Marathon Pics

2009-05-04T14:39:00.000-04:00

The Indianapolis Mini-Marathon of 2009 is finished!!! Everyone did amazing. It was love/hate anticipation leading up to it. I trained really hard until the last three and a half weeks when I got the flu, cold, and sinus problems. So I wasn't feeling very confident, but I did it.
This is me and my sis-in-law Jessica. I absolutely adore her! She is so sweet, such a good friend, and a great mom too. She ran the mini too and finished 4 min. ahead of me at 2 hrs. and 28 min. Good job!

Our medals that were well worth all the hard work and well deserved!

My family.

One of few pictures of me and Jared. We are consumed with Emmie and never think to take pics of ourselves. Thanks Jessica and Riley.

A Thought

2009-04-25T20:21:00.001-04:00

Over the last few weeks I have had many things to blog about but haven't had enough time to devote to those thoughts. General Conference came and went too quickly. I looked forward to that weekend for a while. Just like going to the temple, it centers me and reminds me of who I am, what my most important purposes are, and just makes me feel really good. All of the talks were wonderful, but one that made a great impression on me was Jeffrey R. Holland's talk called None Were With Him. Along the same subject, I think many of us at times feel insignificant. We might feel insignificant because we aren't sought out by others as well as we would like to be. We may feel insignificant because we are just one person in this world full of millions. We may feel insignificant because of the mundane tasks of life; forgetting our true purpose. And maybe we feel insignificant because those around us aren't meeting the expectations we had for them. There are many things that might lead us to feel this way. Once in a while we may deserve to feel this way if we get to thinking too much of our own strength and ability. But all of us have times when we feel lonely. What I have come to learn is that these feelings are a result of the agency of men. All of us are blessed to be able to choose what we will or will not do. Man is imperfect and will inevitably disappoint us. Children, parents, siblings, friends, leaders, spouses, and neighbors will all disappoint us at some time or another because they all have the wonderful gift of agency and are all imperfect just like everyone else. Also, our own choices can cause us to feel very alone. But the Savior is perfect. He always chooses us. He knows our deepest emotions, our sorrows, our struggles, our needs, our joys, and our desires. He never chooses to leave us. We choose to leave Him. I know that I am never alone and I never have cause to feel insignificant. The scripture that comes to mind is "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God." I know that we are all of great worth to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ because the Savior wouldn't have given His life for us if we weren't, we wouldn't have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost, 1/3 of the God Head, to be by our side all day every day to help us succeed, we wouldn't have been given the scriptures, prophets, apostles, family, friends, neighbors, and children to teach us, set an example, and share in the moments that make our history and build our testimonies. I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who believes in me and reminds me of my worth when the world tries to make me forget. I am thankful for a Savior who loves me despite my flaws and weaknesses. I am also thankful for my agency and the agency of others, that at times, helps me to remember to rely on my Savior when I am feel like no one else understands. No one can comfort and love us the way He does. We all have great cause to rejoice in knowing these things.

Jared's Garage Project

2009-04-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

Jared is working on finishing the walls in our garage over the next couple weekends. This last Friday he got started on insulation.

I took this shot to give everyone a "before" pic so that when I put up the "after" pic in a few weeks, you will be able to appreciate the organization just as much as us.

It's getting there.

Jared hard at work. He was such a good sport taking care of me and Emmie, putting up insulation, doing laundry, etc.

Thank You

2009-04-13T11:37:00.000-04:00

Thank you to all of you who went out of your way to offer help over the last 4 days. I am blessed to have such great neighbors and friends. Influenza is on its way out.

Why Marathon?

2009-03-25T14:50:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend, my brother Andrew, being the brain that he is, asked me if I knew the history or legend behind the marathon. He schooled me on it and out of curiosity, I did some research of my own. He was right. Here is the story:

The tale upon which the modern Olympic Marathon rests is the mythic run of Pheidippides from Marathon to Athens. He was a professional messenger and, in 490BC, is supposed to have brought a message from the plains of Marathon, where the Greek Army had just won a crucial battle against the invading Persian Army of General Datis. After the battle, in which he may have taken part, he was dispatched to Athens to deliver the news: "Rejoice, we are victorious". He did this, and no more, dropping dead with the delivery.There are many variations of this story, most of them more plausible than this version. The Greeks may have been victorious, but the battle had not been conclusive, as the rest of the Greek Army was marching towards Athens to forestall a Persian landing much closer to the city. The most contemporaneous historian, Herodotus, wrote 50 years later that Pheidippides had been sent from Athens to Sparta, before the battle, to request help. He does not mention whether Pheidippides returned with the Spartan reply (which was: "No"). The Spartathlon race, which is held today over a distance of 240km, commemorates this slightly more likely version of events.

Pretty cool huh?

Pretty Funny!

2009-03-06T20:55:00.001-05:00

Fast Sunday from Trey on Vimeo.

Love It!

2009-03-06T20:38:00.000-05:00

Pride

2009-03-04T13:28:00.000-05:00

Something I have been pondering for a while now is the human fault of pride. We see this flaw all around us. It is manifested in countless ways. By those who go out of their way to oppose others for no reason, by those who withhold gratitude or compliments from another that might uplift them, by those who are unforgiving, by those who demonstrate a false sense of superiority, or by those who don't care to put forth effort to be cordial and friendly - to name a few. I am not above this. At times, we all succumb to this weakness at the expense of family, aquaintances, friends, strangers, and ourselves. In the scriptuers we learn that pride is enmity (or hatred) toward our fellowmen.

C. S. Lewis said, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.”

Why do we forget so quickly that our lives are designed just for us? That we have what we have, live where we live, know what we know, experience what we experience, and love who we love because the Lord has given all of it to us. If we acknowledge his hand in our lives each day, I believe we will all be more grateful, content, and friendly. Although many seem to have it all, they have problems and faults just like everyone else. Maybe they are worse off than you. A scripture that is always readily available in my mind that has helped me so many times in my life is the scripture in Mosiah 4 verses 16-19.

"And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish. Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God. For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?"

The substance we should give to others may be material at times, but most of the time it isn't. Our substance that we are expected to give daily is love, compassion, forgiveness, friendship, and gratitude. Many people seem to deserve the indifference we feel toward them. But it isn't our place to decide. We are beggars too. So just be nice, don't judge, don't compare, and be happy with your own life. Thus the previous quote on my last post.

A Quote to Live By

2009-03-03T20:29:00.000-05:00

"Be one who nurtures and builds. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them" (Marvin J. Ashton).

Tastebook

2009-02-20T12:10:00.001-05:00

Have you heard of Tastebook? My sister introduced this site to me about a year ago and it is great. Membership is free. You can enter your own recipes into your account or transfer recipes from other sites and save them for future reference. If you have friends on there too, you can look at and copy their personal recipes if they let you. I get on there often to look up my recipes or to look up one of my sister's favorites. The best part is that if you ever decide that you would like to publish your own Tastebook, you can. You choose the cover, the title, the format, and even the pictures accompanying each recipe. Personally, I think it would be a great gift to receive or to give someone else - if they have created their own or if they would like to have a copy of yours! Check it out.

I Love You Jared!

2009-02-07T13:15:00.000-05:00

Since I will be in NY for Valentine's Day without Jared, here is a small tribute to him. (Also, just for fun, here is an old picture of my hunk of a man)

Jared, you are an extremely patient father. You are gentle, warm, and affectionate. Emerson adores you and feels your sensitivity to her well being. I know this because her thoughts turn to you each day wondering how dad is doing and as I listen to her talk about you wishing she could share her experiences with you. I appreciate how resolute you are in holding yourself to a higher standard. What a good example you are to those around you by not speaking negatively or rudely. What makes me love you so much is your desire to improve always and to do what is right. You invite the spirit into our home each day as you read your scriptures and choose carefully the things you spend your time doing. I admire your tenacity and motivation to succeed in all of your endeavors. You are funny and you find humor in just about everything. And if it really isn't that funny, you laugh anyway. That's talent! You have an infectious laugh and if I don't laugh at what you do, I end up laughing anyway because you are laughing. Although you wouldn't admit it, you have succeeded and have far surpassed many expectations in your life. You should be so proud. I am so proud of you. I know that you would do anything for your girls and I appreciate how you make us happy. I really love that you love fishing and want to be a professional angler. If I thought we could do it, I would sell everything so that you could get started on it. I think you would be awesome. You are a good friend and are extremely loyal to the ones you love. You are humble; A quality that many people strive for. You would never think to brag about your accomplishments or to make someone feel less than you. You do the things you do because you think you should - not for recognition. You have a lot to offer and many talents to bless others with, but because you are quiet and unassuming, those talents and strengths go undiscovered by most people. You are one of the most honest and trustworthy people I know. Never have I doubted you at any time since we first met. I love the way you structure your days and follow routines. It balances out my desire to be whimsical and spontaneous. You encourage me to do things that I enjoy and that bring me joy. That is a true friend and companion. Through all our challenges, we have become stronger, more unified, and happier. I am glad that I get to face the challenges of here and now with you and Emerson. We make a great team. I am the luckiest woman in the world to have such a sweet little family. I love you. I will miss you.

Love, Sara

Misconceptions on Adoption

2009-01-23T21:43:00.000-05:00

I have had a lot of conversations recently regarding adoption. I am taking a moment to blog about this because unfortunately, there are a lot of misconceptions in the world. I have had all kinds of questions including, "What was the birth mother's reason for giving her up?" "Why didn't she want her?" "How could a parent do that?" and many others that are valid inquiries for people who do not understand or have had the opportunity to learn that adoption is about love and selflessness. I will acknowledge the fact that there are women and men that make irrational, careless, and selfish decisions regarding their children. Some evil people just want to make money, giving little thought to the welfare of their child. But the majority of those involved in the process of adoption; the birth parent(s), adoptive parents, extended family, etc., their only concern is the child. A birth parent that has chosen to place their child with a family, has chosen to give their child more than they can give her. For some, it is financial, for others it is giving their child an opportunity to be loved by a mother and a father. For many, it is the realization that they are not capable of giving a child the love, care, and stability that she deserves. Regardless of the circumstance, there is no denying that the birth parent loves their child more than anything and wants nothing more than to love her because she is part of them. The birth parent that feels this strong bond and love for their child, yet understands his or her limitations as a parent, is amazing to me. It takes strength beyond oneself to choose an outcome that results in distance between you and your child. Yet, an outcome that they believe will bless the child in ways they couldn't. That is not selfish. That is not being a bad parent. That is not irresponsible. That is not shameful. It is love. It is the very definition of selflessness. To put your own desires aside, choosing something better for the one you love - which happens to exclude you.

Here is the part that confuses me. Often the world's mentality is that when a woman has an abortion, she never sees herself or considers herself to have ever been a mother or a parent. So there is no guilt (at least for many). So she is not seen as having made a bad decision for her child or having made a bad decision as a parent. She chose to "protect" herself. When a woman carries out her pregnancy and places her child in a loving home with adoptive parents, the world often views her as selfish, irresponsible, and careless. Having made a bad decision as a parent. Where is the logic here? The woman who aborts her child, kills her child, so that she can move on with her life. Is that not selfish? This woman makes a mistake and punishes the innocent child. Who was created as a result of her bad choices. The woman who places her child in a loving home, gives the child a chance at life, gives the child a chance at happiness, and gives the child what she cannot, does not punish her child for her mistakes. She acknowledges her mistakes and humbly works toward correcting them by ensuring the child's happiness. Have you ever heard someone say "She made the choice, now she has to suffer the consequences"? I believe in this statement. But when the poor choices involve conceiving a child, the child doesn't have to and shouldn't have to suffer for someone else's mistakes. Why not bless them with happiness and give them more? Why does the world accept abortion as a sensible choice?

We know that Satan is the author of lies and wants everyone to be unhappy. His main goal is to destroy families because in our families we find the most joy. He also mingles truth with lies to confuse us, belittle us, and convince us that our wrongs aren't really a big deal. In this way, he is very sly because over time, he has convinced us that aborting a child isn't bad because they aren't really a child or that it is simply our " choice". Choice is a good thing and it is the ability to choose in life that brings us happiness. The very fact that abortion has been termed a "choice" is in and of itself one of the ways Satan has mingled a good thing with a very terrible act to confuse us into believing it is okay. Adoption blesses so many people. It gives couples a chance to have a family and love beyond themselves and have so much joy in life. It gives children a chance at life and happiness and love. It gives a birth parent peace of mind knowing that despite the mistakes they made at one time, they chose to give their child life and more than what they could give them in the circumstances they created for themselves. That their child is not lacking because they made a bad choice at one time. It gives the birth parent another chance to better their lives as well. Everyone wins.

I am blessed to have experienced the love of adoption. I love my daughter's birth parents. They gave my husband and I the most precious gift - our daughter. We admire them for their selflessness and love for our daughter. We witnessed their struggle to make such an important decision and we witnessed their heartbreak of saying goodbye . They contemplated, planned, and prayed over her. They are happy in life and are confident in their decision each and every day. And we pray each and every day that they will always be blessed in their lives.

Stolen from the Lykins' Blog - But Sooooo Funny!

2009-01-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

A Few Things

2009-01-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

These are uncertain times. I know that many people are financially burdened, but I have become more aware recently of how uncertain life is in many other ways. In the last week I learned of a childhood friend's 4 month old son passing away suddenly, my step grandfather's emergency open heart surgery, my friend Lindsay's daughter born 7 weeks early with some complications, an unexpected divorce in a family that can't seem to "get along", and a few other misfortunes in extended family. I have heard myself saying "You just don't know what is going to happen from one day to the next." many times this week. It is a hard realization. I have pondered this and have decided that instead of focusing on all of these misfortunes and tragedies, that not everything in life is uncertain. I am very thankful for the blessings I have been given. I know that life is an experience given to us to learn from and provide us with chances to grow and choose the right way. That by doing just that, we can find joy and rise above even the most heart wrenching adversity. There is one constant that never changes - that in good times and bad, Heavenly Father is listening, guiding, strengthening, comforting, supporting, and loving us no matter what. If we realized this each minute of every day, I wonder how differently we would approach our challenges or even view them. Some adversity is admittedly unbearable in ways I never want to experience. But we are promised that He will carry us through. He has suffered what we have, what we do, and what we will suffer. I am glad that I can turn to him knowing that he is the only person who truly knows what it is I am feeling and who can take it away, strengthen me, or help me find answers. And He will because He is my advocate. All He asks of us is what any parent wants for their child. For us to come to Him and to tell Him our joys, sorrows, worries, questions, and to thank Him. For us to do the things that He knows will help us to be happy. I don't believe I have ever realized the value of such knowledge as much as I do now. Facing the challenges of this life without it would turn me into a bitter pessimist for sure.

Currently, on my IPOD...

2009-01-13T12:37:00.000-05:00

If you're like me, you need music to keep you moving and motivated when you exercise. I thought I'd share what's on my ipod if you are looking for some good running music. Please share yours with me too because I'm going to need a lot more songs to get me through 13 miles. Many of my songs are cheesy, yes. But they either have a great tempo or lyrics that I can relate to. Don't laugh. So this is what I love to run to currently:

Mary J. Blige - Be Without You - For some reason I always have to turn this one way up in the car.
Miley Cyrus - See You Again - Great tempo and who doesn't love Miley?
Pink - Who Knew - Just a good song
Sean Kingston - Take you There - love running to this one
Timbaland - Apologize - Like the beat
Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful of Sunshine - The lyrics "Take me away to a better place" think of that while running in the cold!
We Will Rock You - Queen - No explanation needed.
Leona Lewis - Better in Time - I have to believe that things will get better in time as I run when I hear this one
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
Estelle - American Boy - Careful - get the edited version of this song.
Jordin Sparks - No Air - This song got me through my last 10K - I felt like I had no air - but I did it.
Jordin Sparks - Tattoo
Duffy - Mercy - Thanks to my hip mother, I found this song and it rocks.
Bon Jovi - It's my Life - The lyrics, "It's now or never" are right on - I've got to get moving!
Bon Jovi - Livin on a Prayer - When I run, I am doing just that "Livin' on a Prayer"!
Ozzy Osbourne - Mama I'm Coming Home - Instead of coming home, I think, Mama I'm crossing that finish line.
Kid Rock - All Summer Long
Buckcherry - Sorry

On my list to add: Cold Play, AC/DC, Tom Petty, Daughtry...
I'd love to hear what you listen to!

West Lafayette 6th on Most Educated Small Towns List!

2009-01-09T19:29:00.000-05:00

Forbes recently came up with a list of the top 20 most educated small towns in the U.S. and ours is number 6! I think that is noteworthy. If we didn't live here it might not have made 6th place, probably 7th or 8th right? Ha ha! Check it out for yourself: http://www.forbes.com/2009/01/02/educated-small-towns-forbeslife-cx_jd_0105realestate_slide_16.html?thisSpeed=15000

A year ago today

2009-01-07T11:45:00.000-05:00

A year ago today Jared and I were scrambling to find a place to live before Jared started his job at Purdue, Emmie was 10 months and still crawling, and we were definitely ready to move out of student housing! The best parts of the year as I remember them:

Going to the temple to seal Emmie to us and having grandma K come to celebrate it.
Emmie turned 1 and had cousin Easton there to share in the fun.
Emmie walks!
We built our first house!
Jared and I celebrate our 6th anniversary!
I brave my first half marathon on the same day we move into our house.
Making lots of great friends in our neighborhood and in our new ward.
Driving to NY to visit family and to see the Hill Cumorah Pageant - Jared and Emmie's 1st time!
While in NY I visited my old branch and caught up with old friends.
Bringing Emmie to the zoo throughout the summer and riding the train with her.
Emmie won grand prize for the summer reading program at our local library - pretty funny.
Getting started on some family history work
Attending my first Purdue football game (sad I know)
Grandma K coming to visit for a week.
Halloween trick or treating in our neighborhood. Emmie was a lovely "fairy cat"
Flying out to NH with Em and visiting with family.
We discover Malones Gym - crazy fun!
Thanksgiving with the entire Hayman family.
Christmas - Santa comes to Emmie's house!

There are lots more great memories, but I don't think I could share them in one post. Now, we have a whole new year to plan for and so far, we have decided that we need to read our scriptures more, go to the temple more, eat healthier, be more frugal, etc. etc. I have a great feeling about 2009.

I love this show!

2009-01-02T20:59:00.001-05:00

Been a While

2008-12-18T13:55:00.000-05:00

I can't believe my last post was from mid November and it's almost Christmas. Since our trip east things didn't settle down until just recently. We got back and then Jared's sisters and brother were visiting for Thanksgiving. The last time they were all here together was Christmas of '05. So it was a big deal especially since his sister Jessica brought a new addition to the family on Halloween. Brady Max Gibb is now 5 or 6 weeks old. It is very exciting to have a brand new baby around. I will have to add pictures to this post when I get pictures downloaded to this computer!

Since Thanksgiving we have just been trying to get back into our everyday routines and prepare for Christmas. This time of year is bitter sweet. I love Christmas lights, music, traditions, food, and especially the feelings of love, kindness, gratitude, and hope. But it also reminds me of how out of touch I feel with extended family and friends when I sit down to send out the Christmas cards. I am grateful for my family and friends who love me despite my inability to keep up with everyone and let them know I am thinking of them and miss them - so much!

Let's see...Emmie and I attended our church Christmas brunch a few Saturdays ago without Jared. He helped his good friend Kevin move that morning. It was freezing and snowing, but they helped us move here on the coldest day of this year back in January! Plus, Jared wouldn't say "No" to helping anyone - one thing I absolutely love about him. Anyway, Santa Claus showed up and I don't believe I have ever seen my daughter's eyes widen as much as they did at the moment she saw him. She was speechless and reaching up to me as if she was a little nervous and wanting to be picked up. She really wanted to go over to him. He handed her a candy cane and she hasn't stopped telling people about that experience since. If grandma asks her about Santa Claus on the phone she says he gave her, "Candy!" We were thinking that he might frighten her like he frightened me when I was little, but so far, so good. Emmie gets excited about Christmas things, but we are more excited than she is. I wish she had some idea of how excited and eager I am to make these experiences meaningful and exciting for her. It is all worth it. As I sit here thinking about that, I have to say how I appreciate my mom and dad so much more as I think about how they felt the same way and all they did for me.

The weather - I always used to say that I love all four seasons. Not true anymore. I have discovered that I really dislike the cold and one snow and I'm good. I need sunshine!!!!! It has taken a toll on me. I can't stand not being able to just head outside for a walk, run, or just to get some fresh air. It is depressing. Our next move in the distant future will hopefully be where it is warmer and sunny most of the year. My fingers are crossed. To keep ourselves entertained we usually go to the gymnastics center once a week with friends, meet up with Jessica and Nolan at the mall to play, go to the library, and moms and tots. My sister's words are coming to mind right now. I remember her telling me that there is nothing like having to engage in mindless chit chat with other mom's at the park or wherever you may be to get out. I understand completely now, but sometimes that is keeps me sane in these winter months! Actually, for the first time in about 2 years I went out for my friend Lindsay's birthday last week. We sat in the restaurant until midnight talking and lost track of time. It was a lot of fun. Sometimes you lose track of your own identity and interests as a mom and then are reminded of why when you have to get up in the morning anyway!

I want to use some blog space to thank my sweet friend Jessica for being such a good friend to me. Like my sis-in-law Jessica, she has a newborn. And even though she is tired and busy, she spent time working on a beautiful scapbooked frame of our family pictures. That was a pleasant surprise and it meant a lot to me. Thank you!

Well, I will have more to post after next week. Check back because Santa is coming to our house and we will have pictures! Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Trip

2008-11-17T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm back at home and settled in. I love seeing my family. They always make me feel welcome and loved. Mom and Kris were waiting for us when we arrived in Manchester with a balloon for Em (among other fun things). And these beautiful flowers were waiting for me at home when we got there. So sweet and thoughtful. Time away from your usual surroundings is always good. It also tests your patience, flexibility, and composure. Emmie was wonderful on the airplane. DVD players are lifesavers! The trip home was a little more challenging, but I blame it on fatigue. It is hard to go to sleep early when you want to make every minute count. Plus, with all of the changes, Emmie had a little trouble falling asleep some nights. If you ask my sister, she was easy. She really is a mild child and at this point, very obedient. We won't count the bite mark on my collar bone that she gave me on the way home. Fatigue I'm telling you! Of course, Emmie missed her father. It was evident in the 15 minute hug she gave him at the airport.

The last night there, all the girls went out and left the children at home with Uncle Ryan. That was nice. We got to talk, laugh, relax, reminisce, and just be the girls. We were wild - staying out until 10:00! When we got back, we goofed off taking pictures of each other. I thought this one turned out nice. You see that curly hair? Man how I wished it was mine when I was younger. Can you believe she tried straightening it once?

It is always interesting to immerse yourself in other people's routines. My sister has a lot going on right now. They are building a beautiful house that has breathtaking mountain views. I admire their hard work as they are doing much of it themselves. They head to the lot each day to clean the work site and check on its progress. We got to go play a few times and Emmie loved it!

One of the highlights of the trip was going out to my brother Eric's for dinner. His son Adam (4 years old) is full of personality. He loves to learn new songs, memorize them, and sing to us. He is really good! He doesn't just sing one verse, but all of them. He amazed us over the summer with a beautiful rendition of America the Beautiful. Below is Adam singing If the Savior Stood Beside Me. It is pure sweetness!

Emmie and I stayed with her cousins Ben and Will most of the week. Ben is in third grade and such a smart boy. He just started reading the first Harry Potter book when we arrived and was almost done with the third novel when we left! Most fifth graders can't read one novel that fast! William is in kindergarten and so full of energy and excitement. He couldn't wait for us to come visit. He bought Emmie a cute purse and filled it with little toys for the car ride from the airport to their house. He let Emmie play with his marble race and kept his eye on her for me. It is hard not being closer to see them grow. They change so fast.

Emmie was also excited to play with her cousin Sophie who she calls "fee fee". Once they got together, Em decided she wanted to keep up with the boys instead. Sophie is sweet and such a doll baby. I just love her beautiful auburn curls. It is so funny how Emmie talks about her all the time and it was enough to just see her and then play on her own.

Anyway, I'm home and back into the swing of things. I finally started running again - thanks to my sister. She is in great shape and reminded me that - oh yeah, I have a mini-marathon to run in about 6 months!!!!! I have been um, lazy- well, not lazy. Just enjoying other equally good things. Back to work for me.

MOM, I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome Video Created by Catholic Church

2008-11-01T13:20:00.000-04:00

Hodge Podge

2008-10-29T21:31:00.000-04:00

I am glad that the election is coming to a close. It has definitely consumed me for the first time. This presidential election means more to me than previous elections in part because of my daughter. Her future is my number one priority. It is my hope that she will exist in a society where morality is the standard, where it isn't offensive to exercise your freedom of religion, where a family means a mother and a father and children have the right to be loved by a mother and a father, where human life is sacred, where personal safety is more important than individual rights, and where all people are treated fairly. Unfortunately, we find ourselves without many of these standards already and steadily declining.

A friend of mine spent the summer in California where her sister lives. Apparently, in California the schools give children the right to use whichever gender bathroom they choose because a boy might feel like he is really a girl at any time and shouldn't be discriminated against. Her 6 year old niece is not allowed to go to the bathroom at school unless she gets her older sister to go with her for fear that there might be older boys in there taking advantage of this rule to harm others or who knows what. The following statement was taken from the Transgender Law Center for California.

"All students have a right to safe and appropriate restroom facilities. This includes the right to use a restroom that corresponds to the student’s gender identity, regardless of the student’s sex assigned at birth.[4] Requiring the student to ‘prove’ their gender (by requiring a doctor’s letter, identity documents, etc.) is not acceptable. The student’s self-identification is the sole measure of the student’s gender. "

So children's' safety is less important than the "rights" of a very small group of people. I am in awe. Let's pray that such liberal ideas don't spread outside of CA boundaries including same gender marriage!

I was talking with an acquaintance last week and the election crept into our conversation. She stated that she still didn't know who she was going to vote for! I was shocked. How can anyone not know at that point - only two weeks away. She said that technology is really important to her husband so he really liked Obama in that regard. Yes, technology is important, but I don't think technology is going downward whether you vote for McCain or Obama. She also said that it is okay to tax the "rich" because they consume more and their money will go toward maintaining things they use more than us...funny. She had no idea that Obama really means that he is going to take money from people he deems rich to give to other people he deems more deserving of it even though they didn't work for it. To call that "fair" is a contradiction. I told her that Obama is extremely liberal on abortion and that goes against everything we believe - it should be one of, if not the most important issue in this election. Her response was alarming. She said it didn't matter one way or the other because abortion will not go away and is even necessary for rape, incest, and medical cases (which by the way is such a small percentage). I told her that it may not go away, but it could become more accepted, more radical, and Heaven forbid our country could end up like Russia where every single woman has had at least 2 abortions. That even though it may not go away, it is always our duty to vote for what's right. Otherwise, little by little we will end up in a place we never dreamed - kind of like right now. When it comes down to it, you have to consider the eternal perspective and what will really matter in the future.

On a happy note, One of my best friends gave birth to a precious baby boy this week. It was euphoric to hold a brand new baby in my arms. It puts life into perspective, it brings so much joy, it gives purpose, and reminds us of who we are and why we are here. How can anyone justify denying a person the right to life?

Happy Voting everyone!