Jonathan's Adoption Story Part 2

On January 19 our profile was activated. We were excited! We sent our friends and family the news and posted our profile to our blogs. The step to put ourselves out there motivated us to do more to receive this blessing. Then we went back to waiting and not expecting anything. On Jan. 26 (one week later), I checked our e-mail before shutting down the computer for the night, and expecting nothing as usual, there was an e-mail sent through Parent Profiles. My heart fluttered. Then I calmly said, “Jared, we have been contacted.” He said, “What do you mean?” “A birth mother contacted us on Parent Profiles.” I carried the laptop to the bedroom and we sat on the bed reading the e-mail over and over. Michelle, our son’s birth mother, took a gigantic leap of faith when she wrote that sweet e-mail. We could hardly believe the e-mail was real and that we had actually received it. We lived for Michelle’s e-mails after that. I spent hours writing back and forth to her for weeks. In no time at all we fell in love with Michelle. I don’t think there was one thing we didn’t share in our e-mails to one another. We kept saying that we felt like we had known each other forever. There are so many things we have in common.

On February 10 we flew to Colorado to meet Michelle, Brandon (Jonathan’s birth father), and their family. Were we nervous! Emmie came with us because we knew we wouldn’t be able to bring her when the baby came and we wanted her to know where we would be going, where Jonathan came from, and who his birth family is. They wanted to meet Emmie too. She was the reason Michelle contacted us. Michelle recounts the moment she “knew” to be when she saw a picture of Emmie and Jared sitting in the doorway on Halloween holding a tiny pumpkin. She said that Emmie was a female version of Alex, her son. They looked identical. It was important to Michelle for Jonathan to have a sibling that was a lot like him. When she saw that picture of them, she said her heart almost stopped. She ran down the stairs with her pregnant belly and dragged her family over to the computer to see. I bet that will make Emmie feel pretty special someday.
Our visit was amazing! We felt like part of Michelle’s family. They welcomed us with hugs and tears and made us feel special. We didn’t feel deserving of it. And despite Emmie’s every effort to sabotage us (of course we are kidding), they LOVED her and us. Actually, Emmie was pretty great. She survived a long flight with no sleep, jet lag, and a drastic change in schedule. On top of it, she rose above the stress and confusion surrounding such a big event in our lives. I know she could feel what we felt. You should have seen her at their house! She threw herself on the floor and everything. But it turns out that Emmie was all part of the plan because when we disciplined her with some boundaries and natural consequences, Michelle thought well of it.
During the next four and a half weeks we organized our home, prepared Jonathan’s bedroom, and tried to continue on with our normal routines while waiting. We flew back to Colorado for Jonathan’s birth without Emerson (One of the hardest things we’ve ever done) on Monday the 15th. Not only were we excited to meet our little boy, but we were eager to see Michelle and Brandon again. When we heard from them we felt close to the baby and just felt happy in general.
Michelle was induced on Tuesday, the next day. Jared and I were present for the delivery, which was more than we could have asked for. Jonathan was born at 12:15 p.m. He weighed 6lbs. 12 oz. and was 19 inches long. And most importantly, he was healthy. Jonathan was handed to me first just as Emerson was when she was born. As I sit here and think about that, I am so grateful to my children’s sweet birth mothers for being so generous to me. They didn’t have to, but they thought of our needs and desires despite the anguish they were experiencing. How can I not love them?
The two days we spent in the hospital with Michelle were some of the most spiritual times. One would assume that waiting for placement would be more stressful and scary than anything. Our experience was very much the opposite. Michelle’s grandparents and great-grandmother came to meet us. They wore smiles the whole time. They hugged us and treated us like we were important to them. They were happy. We are so grateful that we got to know each other. We are glad that we were able to share who we are with them. Some day we will tell Jonathan about the love that surrounded him when he was born. I think he will love that. I stayed in Michelle’s room at the hospital and took care of Jonathan all night. Michelle and I stayed up until 2 am talking about life, what led us to that point, and what we hoped for the future. I rocked Jonathan as Michelle shared her dreams with me. I sat there thanking the Lord in my mind for that moment where two mothers who loved the same child were loving each other and exchanging admiration and gratitude for the other. There aren’t many times in my life that I will be able to feel as much gratitude for another human being as I did (and do) at that time.

The next day Jonathan’s birth father Brandon came and spent time holding him and marveling at his beautiful boy. Jared and I watched Michelle and Brandon hold him, whispering tenderly and sharing moments with each other that words fail to describe. I will say that I observed a proud mother and father with heart ache, longing, hope, peace, and love of the purest kind in their expressions.
We visited with Michelle and her family before we came home. Michelle thanked me for “sharing” Jonathan with her in the hospital and giving her that time with him. Yes – she actually thanked us. What had we done? Very little. She said she could see us holding back and could sense how hard it was for us to pass him around. Whatever insecurity we experienced passing Jonathan around to her loving family was a small thing to experience knowing the heartache that awaited them. We wouldn’t have changed a thing. They blessed our lives beyond our capacity. It brought us joy to see them hold him and know that was the way it was supposed to be. The spirit was there – no other feeling was present.
We flew home with Jonathan the following Wednesday evening and reunited with Emmie on Thursday morning. It felt so good to bring him home to meet his sister who had been waiting for his arrival for weeks and weeks. Now we are adjusting to two children’s schedules and lack of sleep… but when I get up in the middle of the night and look at Jonathan’s face and then walk into Emmie’s room to check on her, nothing seems that hard.
Neither one of us know why our children come to us through adoption. We love to think of many different things all the time like maybe I would have died in child birth; maybe if our children inherited our genes they wouldn’t have been able to fill the measure of their creations because of something that would have held them back; maybe adoption was the way we are better able to understand the Lord’s plan, love, and mercy in our lives than we would have been able to otherwise; maybe we were meant to experience love, gratitude, and sacrifice through adoption so that we would be able to approach each day of our lives with happier hearts eager to be the best we can to be worthy of the blessings we have received; maybe the Lord knew that we would love these children more than anything; and maybe none of these things. Adoption is a blessing.  It is beautiful. No matter what, we wouldn’t change a thing. We have experienced miracles and remember them daily when we look at our children.  The joy, growth, faith, understanding, love, friendships, and gratitude we have gained have more worth to us than anything else there is to be had. I thank Heavenly Father for knowing us so well and remembering us and our deepest desires. He answers prayers and is eager to guide us to those things that bring us joy.


We love you Brandon, Michelle, Cindy, Steve, and all of your families. Thank you for your love.