Jonathan's Adoption Story Part 1

There is a lot to write so I am diving this story into parts.  Sorry for the length!  Here is part 1:

Our family was approved and hoping to adopt last July of 2009. Like most families at that early stage in the adoption process, we had low expectations. We were thrilled at the prospect of adopting our second baby, but we realized that the wait could be a few years. So we hardly thought about it, which was easy because we hadn’t felt a void. Emerson had been our world and fills our lives with so much joy that we really had no reason to feel sad or anxious. When I say we hadn’t felt a void, I mean that for us, adopting Emmie was the greatest blessing we had ever received and we felt grateful to have her. To ask the Lord to grant us another miracle seemed like a long shot. But it would have been extremely sad for us to not experience all of those things that make life so rich again and again.

We had waited six months with no contacts when January 2010 came.  Dave, our adoption counselor, wanted to have a phone conference to discuss what else we could do to increase our chances of being contacted by birth parents. That 6 month meeting is a standard procedure. To be honest, Jared and I had the attitude of “If you want us to talk to you on the phone so you can check us off for the 6 month meeting, that’s fine.” But as the meeting date approached, I began to wonder what we were going to do and ponder what I really wanted. We knew what Dave was going to tell us – to get on Parent Profiles. Parent Profiles may be the largest database of adoptive couples on the web. If it isn’t the largest, it is probably the most advertised and visited adoptive couple website, which increases your chances of being contacted by a birth parent. Parent Profiles also happens to be the website that our daughter’s birth parents found us on. We were aware of the benefits of being on there. However, Jared and I agreed that we would wait a certain amount of time before we put our profile on there because it can be expensive and we hadn’t felt the urgency that we had felt leading up to Emmie’s adoption. Those of you who are unfamiliar with our daughter’s adoption story, her birth parents contacted us just a few weeks after we were activated on Parent Profiles. Emmie came to us quickly, which we were sure could only happen once in a lifetime.

The phone conference with Dave was quickly approaching on Friday the 8th. We still weren’t sure what we were going to tell Dave about how we felt or what we planned to do. And I’ll tell you why; we didn’t feel much. We really felt far from any inspiration or direction relating to this adoption. Where were the promptings we had received with Emmie? Was this really what we were supposed to be doing? This phone conference was really causing me to question things. And then I got an important phone call on Tuesday the 5th. It was Sharon, my neighbor who had moved almost a year ago and whom I hadn’t spoken to since. How odd! Sharon has two daughters that she and her husband adopted. She called to ask me what to expect with LDS Family Services’ new adoption process because it had changed since she had adopted her youngest daughter. What could have been a brief conversation with Sharon turned into a much needed discussion of where I was emotionally and what I really wanted. I told Sharon about the upcoming meeting and explained our feelings of indifference. I also told her my heart and how I knew I wanted more children and that I wanted to adopt again. As I was saying these things to her, hearing myself confirm what I felt in my heart, I realized that that phone call was not meant to help her, it was meant for me. I hung up with tears rolling down my cheeks and thanking Sharon for her inspired phone call to me. I knew it was inspired because of the timing, the fact that it was completely out of the blue, and mostly because I felt it deep in my mind and heart. What I knew all along was clear and many powerful things that I had forgotten were brought to my remembrance. I remembered the whisperings of the spirit telling me that if it is the Lord’s will, he will provide a way; encouragement I received when we were getting ready to start the process again. I remembered the pattern of emotions we experienced during the first adoption, I realized that in an effort to avoid emotions tied to adoption, we had not been praying as earnestly as we had leading up to Emmie’s adoption. PRAYER is more essential than anything else regarding adoption. How could I have forgotten this? I knew that the Lord would direct us and prompt us if we were prayerful and earnest in seeking his help. He was before and He would be again. It became clear to me that I was meant to forget these simple but powerful truths because to remember them would lead me to my family. My mom can attest to the affect that phone call had on me. That night I called her from my car on the way home from mutual and told her all of these things. I said, “This is the beginning. I can feel it.”
Friday came and we had our phone conference. As expected, our adoption counselor suggested we get on Parent Profiles. We told him that we would probably do that and would let him know when. We explained that we had not felt the urgency to do it yet, but would talk about it. The next day I attended a young women’s stake leadership training at church. After the meeting I chatted with Sister Monn who works at the LDS Family Services office and my friend Sheri who was also in the process of her second adoption. Sheri was telling us about the contacts she had on Parent Profiles and Sister Monn turned to me and said, “Why aren’t you on Parent Profiles?!! Don’t you know how many placements have been made recently through that website?” I told her what we had told Dave, “We probably will soon.” The next day was Sunday. I was walking down the hall and was stopped by Bro. Tree who for the past few weeks had been asking me if I had any news for him. He asked me for the news. I told him I had none but that we were thinking of getting on Parent Profiles. He turned to me, looked me right in the eyes, and said, “What are you waiting for?” In my mind I thought, “I don’t know!” But I did know. I was waiting for guidance. After Sharon’s phone call and three consecutive days of being asked the same thing over and over, I had received it. As we drove home from church I thought about what Brother Tree, Sis. Monn, Dave, and Sharon had said to me. It all felt very calculated. I turned to Jared and said, “We need to get on Parent Profiles. The Lord has been trying to tell us this and if we don’t, we may miss our opportunity.” Jared felt this too. We didn’t waste any time. That night we worked on our profile...

(I will continue this soon.  It takes a while to adequately convey the feelings we have experienced during this journey not to mention just having time to write it.  I'll try my best.)