Angela's Story

Angela is my cousin.  I am so proud of her!  Here is a shortened version of her story:

Adoption is something that is very near and dear to my heart. I am an adoptee and have gone through the rough process of finding my biological family. I grew up knowing that I was adopted and it was never a big deal with any of my family members. My parents are amazing and helped me through the very long, very tough journey of finding my biological family.

They were very understanding of my curiousity about my biological family and never once felt slighted by the fact that I needed to find out all the information I could. Once I got the itch and was of legal age, it was a matter of weeks until I met my biological mother, Elaine.

Finding my biological father was a much tougher road since he did not know I was his child and I was in contact with his mother who wished to tell him herself. Before that could happen he passed away in a house fire with his wife and two sons. A few months later, a DNA test confirmed that he was my biological father. His mother, Marcia and I had had a rough relationship but we put our differences and history aside and forged ahead with a very good relationship.

She has since passed away due to complications from a moter scooter accident. It was a year this July, and a very trying time. I am still in contact with Marcia's mother.. my great grandmother.

On a brighter note, Elaine and I are in touch every day. I have a half sister who just turned 14 and a half brother who will be 17 shortly. We also talk everyday and hang out on a regular basis. They have become part of my family and my parents thank Elaine on a regular basis for placing me for adoption.

 Angela and her mother and father, Joann and Kevin.

I have a very special relationship with the family that raised me and is mine, and also with my biological family. While it was very rough finding out all the details of my biological family and the few regrets I do have about not contacting my biological father myself, they are all washed away by the love I have from both of my families.

Angela and her birth mother and siblings.

I am truly blessed and loved and most definitely would not have my life any other way!

We love you Angela!  Thanks for sharing your story.  It is even more touching hearing you tell it in person, but you have shown us that adoption is about LOVE on every side.   

Angela with Emmie last fall.

"...My Cup Runneth Over"

It is my turn.  I have been waiting all month to write my own thoughts during this wonderful Adoption Month.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I have an abundance of gratitude for the many blessings I have received in my life.  I will try my best to write my soul. 
I start by acknowledging my Heavenly Father.  He lives.  He is my maker, my father, and my friend.  He loves me more than I deserve and more than I comprehend.  He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to this earth so that I would know who to follow, who to emulate.  He sent Him here so that He would know exactly what it feels like to be human and to be tried, challenged, and hurt.  He sent Him here to save me from being miserable because I am imperfect.  He sent Him here to take all of my burdens, mistakes, pain, and hurt from me.  What amazes me is that Heavenly Father did not tell Christ to come, He volunteered.  I cannot doubt that He loves me.  I have been tried, hurt, deeply saddened, and have made loads of mistakes.  I know what it is to feel bitterly alone, to feel worthless, and to feel that I don't deserve forgiveness.  At times, I relished in these awful feelings and sometimes I prayed.  I cannot say that I am not loved.  When I turn to the Savior for help, I have always been at peace, strengthened, comforted, guided, and felt the purest love that no person can offer.  I am getting better and faster at recognizing this need in my life and frankly, I cannot live without it.  His guidance is ever present even when I know I haven't made the best choices - He still loves me. 
My understanding of His love for me was brought to a heightened level over 3 years ago when I came to a point in my life where I really had no idea what the Lord wanted for me.  It was a scary feeling.  And of course, heartbreaking...I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.  He knew this; He was aware of my heartache and desires.  I have never felt as much strength, comfort, guidance, and confidence in my life as I did during the months that Jared and I sought answers, moved forward with adoption, and then adopted our daughter Emerson.  The Lord, in his great love and wisdom, knew these two weak humans needed that support and strength to do something that would take a lot of faith and hope.  He knew Emerson was coming to us and He prepared us and whispered sweet encouragement in our hopeful ears.  I have no doubt nor will I ever deny that the Lord blessed us with our daughter.  It was no coincidence.  It was direct answer to prayer: Our prayers to Him asking for a child that was meant to be ours and the prayers offered up by Emerson's birth parents seeking the best life for their baby.  The Lord cares.  He is not indifferent to us even though, at times, He seems obscure and far away.  Through this precious experience I also gained a strong testimony that there is a plan for each of us even if we screw up royally, which I have done.  Satan would have us think less of ourselves to turn away from Heavenly Father out of shame, but the Lord stretches his arm out all the day long, inviting us to change, to improve, and to be happy.    
I was remembered by the Lord and for that, I will forever be grateful.  This blessing didn't come to us with the snap of His fingers.  There was sacrifice and heartbreak too.  Our joy will forever be accompanied by humility.  When we received our daughter, her birth family experienced the greatest loss.  When they chose to place her, they also chose the heartbreak of not being able to see her precious face each day, to kiss her little hands, to hug her little body, to hear her sweet voice and laughter, to wipe away her tears, and to hear her say "I love you".  I know they wanted these things so badly, but they loved her more than themselves.  Someday Emerson will understand that they did the parent thing to do.  They chose to forget themselves to give her what they couldn't.  I don't say that to mean that I am the best mother or that I am better than anyone.  I mean they gave her LIFE, a family - a mother and a father, love, and stability.  Now that I am a mother, my heart aches to think of having to make that choice because my love for my child is beyond description and I know her birth mother feels this too.  The Lord strengthened her and gave her peace and comfort to do what was best. I KNOW that our prayers on her behalf and the prayers offered by our family and friends buoyed her up as well.  The guidance we received when we prayed to know what to do was so real I could have wrapped it in a box.  So I know that when Cindy made this heart wrenching decision, the Lord's love must have pulsed through her heart, mind, and soul. 
Our lives have been sanctified.  Each precious moment we experience with Emerson is one that her birth family does not get to experience with her.  That is why I say that our gratitude is always felt with humility.  We feel an overwhelming sense of purpose in our lives as we remember the Lord's love for us as His children, as we remember the sacrifice that was made for our daughter so that she might live with joy, and as we relish in the blessing of being a mother and father.  It has made us both better people eager to be the best that we can and JOYOUS. 
The sweetest music to my ears is when Emerson's birth mother writes or tells us that she is so happy with the decision she made.  That she will never regret it.  She feels part of our family too and that is the way we want it.  She will always be in our hearts and minds.  She is beautiful to us and basically, our angel.  Our daughter is a beautiful soul and we owe much of that to the loving mother and father that placed her in our arms.  Adoption IS a LOVING choice.

Nia Vardalos

I loved her in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but now I really love her (except she considers Prop 8 to be "hateful", but you take what you can get)!

More Publicity

SUE SCOTT, our local WLFI newscaster, participated in the Adoption Awareness Walk.  She blogged about it HERE.  Thanks Sue; especially for mentioning the most important detail - that adoption is a LOVING choice! 

Front Page News...Thank You CORINNE FEIGHT!

Jared was reading Purdue's Exponent at work this morning because he was drawn to an article on the front page about the salary freeze being lifted and right below it, he saw 
THIS ARTICLE!

Why am I excited?  Because everyone who reads The Exponent will be thinking about adoption. 

"And out of small things...

proceedeth that which is great" (D&C 64:33).  This is the scripture that drove Sheri and I to follow through with a last minute adoption walk.  Although small, we had a turnout that tripled our expectations.  In a town of 185,000 people, 45-50 of them participated.  Like I said, small.  If we had planned this with numbers in mind, it would have been for the wrong reason.  For one, we felt an urgency to just do it and it was last minute - like last week kind of last-minute!  We knew our turnout would be meager.  In our interactions with other adoptive families and researching other organizations and possible advocacy opportunities, we found NONE.  If anything were to take place in our community, we were going to do it.  I had someone tell me to wait until next year so I'd have time to make it bigger and better - "No point in doing something half-_____(insert vulagirty)."  SERIOUSLY - I was told that!  Why would we wait until next year just to "save face"?  A year is a long time to get started on something that can't wait and can be done without a production.  We are talking about children. Every great thing, every turning point, every shift in community support starts somewhere AND starts out small. So, we were anything but disappointed.  We were thrilled!  The families that participated had an energy about them that seemed eager to be unleashed.  They had gratitude that they had something that THEIR families could celebrate proudly, that they could share knowledge by their very presence.  They were excited to be gathered together with others that just know (not sure what I mean?  Visit link).  One of the adoptive fathers said to me on the walk, "Each year we'll gain momentum."  EXACTLY! 

When I spoke before the walk, I stated that our goal is/was to let our community know that adoption is a LOVING choice and that if one person considers adoption as an option because someone they knew attended the walk or they saw it in the paper or heard about these families, then we were/are successful.  Here are some moments captured from yesterday:

I don't think that it was coincidence that yesterday was sunny and 60 degrees - in November!

Sheri (the FSA Chair and my friend) and the other happy supporters.

CUPCAKES!  I ordered 200 knowing it would be too many and hoped it would not be enough.  Of course we had too many.  We sent them on to the homeless shelter by suggestion from a very smart supporter.  Wal-Mart donated 75% of the cost of these cupcakes and did the little red hearts on top just for us.  If you ever have a good cause that you need help funding, I'd be happy to tell you how to get Wal-Mart to help you.  It is surprisingly simple! 

My girl hovering over the cupcakes that she waited ever-so-patiently for.  This event was important for her too.  She knew she was going to be with children that shared something special with her and some of them are her very good friends. 

I love this picture because Sheri got me on board with FSA and it has been the best thing I've ever been involved with second to my church.  I love adoption and adoption advocacy.  We have done so much together in the short amount of time we have known each other and volunteered together.  Thank you Sheri!  I will miss you when you move!

Sue Scott (our local newscaster) and I.  She is an adoptive mother and a family friend.  We were excited that she came to support.  She also offered to help us plan next year's walk, which means more awareness on a larger scale - YAY!

This says it all.